Greetings and salutations to all members of the flock. In our second edition of the Kegdom Ministry School we will examine three fine blessings from Jehovah. The first from Barbados, as if any beer wouldn't taste perfect if one was in Barbados! The second a beer from Montana with its roots firmly established in the saliva of large hooved animals if anything. Our last feature is from the Czechs who have been making beer longer than many countries have existed. Take heed brothers and sisters, and be ever alert for the emptied pint.
 | Banks (Barbados) Breweries Limited Brewed since 1961 in Barbados 4.7 % alc. vol. Banks Beer, the beer of Barbados, is a premium pilsner style lager with a smooth, fresh aroma and a medium alcohol content. Banks is brewed from a pure classic blend of 2-Row British and Australian malted barleys deliciously flavored by Yakima Clusters and the noble Styrian Goldings aroma hops. It is however Barbados\' water, naturally filtered through limestone rock, along with our own special strain of yeast, which give Banks Beer its unique Bajan character and distinctive quality. Consistently the #1 choice among beer drinkers in Barbados since it was first produced in 1961. PRODUCT OVERVIEW Colour: Medium Gold Process: Fermented Aroma and Taste: Fresh and smooth Unit of sale (export): 275 ml / (275 ml) |
 | Brewed since ? in United States of America 4.2 % alc. vol. Moose Drool is our Brown Ale. Far and away the best selling draft beer brewed in Montana, Moose Drool is chocolate brown in color with a creamy texture. Our brown ale is a malty beer with just enough hop presence to keep it from being too sweet. The aroma also mostly comes from the malt with a hint of spiciness being added by the hops. Moose Drool is brewed with pale, caramel, chocolate, and whole black malts; and Kent Goldings, Liberty, and Willamette hops. It has an original gravity of 13 degrees Plato, and is 4.2% alcohol by weight, 5.3% by volume. |
 | Brewed since 1842 in Czech Republic 4.4 % alc. vol. This bottom-fermented lager beer has been brewed in Pilsen for more than 150 years. It is well-known for its taste and quality, as well as its curative effects. Its popularity continues thanks to unique local conditions, the quality of raw materials such as water, and special brewery yeast production methods. |
Points For Circuit Overbeers
It has been brought to the attention of the Faithless and Indiscreet slave that many in the flock are experiencing confusion when entering a house of worship. We hope this helps clear up any confusion and allows for the proper worship of Beer. Circuit Overbeers should be attentive to members of the flock who have not prperly discerend the meanings of the following.
The Pub Translator
1. YOU GET THIS ONE, NEXT ROUND IS ON ME: We won't be here long enough to get another round.
2. I'LL GET THIS ONE, NEXT ONE IS ON YOU: Happy hour is about to end...drafts are now a dollar, but by the next round they'll be $4.50 a pop.
3. HEY, WHERE IS THAT FRIEND OF YOURS?: I have no interest in talking to you except as a way to get your attractive friend into a compromising position.
4. CAN I GET A GLASS OF WHITE ZINFANDEL?: FEMALE I'm easy. MALE I'm gay.
5. EVER TRY A BODY SHOT? MALE TO FEMALE: I am even willing to drink tequila if it means that I get to lick you.
6. EVER TRY A BODY SHOT? FEMALE TO MALE: If this is how wild I am in the bar, imagine what I'll do to you on the ride home?
7. I DON'T FEEL WELL, LET'S GO HOME. FEMALE: You are paying more attention to your friends than me.
8. I DON'T FEEL WELL, LET'S GO HOME. MALE: I'm horny.
9. WHO'S GOT THE NEXT ROUND?: I haven't bought a round in almost 3 years, but I am an expert at diverting attention.
10. EXCUSE ME. MALE TO MALE: Get the hell out of the way.
11. EXCUSE ME. MALE TO FEMALE: I am going to grope you now.
12. EXCUSE ME. FEMALE TO MALE: Don't even think about groping me, just get the hell out of the way.
13. EXCUSE ME. FEMALE TO FEMALE: Move your fat ass. Who do you think you are anyway? You are not all that, missy, and don't think for one minute that you are. Coming in here dressing like a whore. Get your eyes off of my man, or I'll slap you bitch, like the slut you are.
14. WHAT DO YOU HAVE ON TAP? What's cheap?
15. CAN I HAVE A WHITE RUSSIAN? MALE: I'm really gay.
16. CAN I HAVE A WHITE RUSSIAN? FEMALE: I'm really easy.
17. THAT PERSON LOOKS REALLY FAMILIAR: Did I sleep with him/her?
18. CAN I JUST GET A GLASS OF WATER? FEMALE: I'm annoying, but cute enough to get away with this.
19. I DON'T HAVE MY ID ON ME. FEMALE: I'm 19.
20. I DON'T HAVE MY ID ON ME. MALE: I don't have a license since I got pulled over and blew a 0.4 after my last visit here
Software To Aid In Spreading The Good News Of The Kegdom Ministry
Mixology
BarBack v5
With over 7,800 new drinks for a total of over 10,400 BarBack has more drink recipes than any other program, web site or book. Even the freedemo version gives you over 3,000 recipes.
WinBar v1.5 181,305 bytes
A windows drink database with over 1100 drinks pre installed. Drinks can be searched by up to six ingredients, name or part of, drinks you have tried/not tried and more. Also you can import Mack's Tavern drink databases into WinBar.
Professional Bartender v2.2 349,598 bytes
Includes 1,000 classic drinks plus shooters and coolers. Search by ingredient, liquor, type, glass, season using powerful 'AND" and 'OR" statements.
PC-Bartender
Organize drink recipes and convert to no-alcohol versions. Drinks can be catagorized by type, name and ingredients. Recipe size can be instantly adjusted for any number of people. A great program that's easy- to-use and a lot of fun! Freeware by HomeCraft.
Toys
Guinness Screen Saver 1,354,314 bytes
Animation, sound and a foaming glass of Guinness makes this a real nifty screen saver. WARNING! Be sure to have a Guinness close by, you'll want one after watching this. By Guinness Brewery.
Beer Comericals Collection 218,188 bytes
Four beer sound files in WAV format:
"When you say Budweiser, You've said it all."
"HEY, get your cold beer."
"If you got the time, we've got the beer...Miller Beer."
"When your out of Schlitz, you're out of beer."
Brewing Craft
Beer Designer PRO 5,504,000 bytes
The ultimate homebrewing software for W95,W98 & NT. Calculate malt-composition, bitterness and water adjustment. Can handle volumes up to 8000 litres or 2000 gallons and using flexible settings to fit your equipment, a special design for serious homebrewing and small breweries. Beer Designer PRO including an info-database with malts, hops, yeasts, breweries etc.
Brewhaha 457536 bytes
A brewers database and brewing log for windows. Very easy to use and update. Uses Microsoft Access database engine.
Home Brewers Utility Kit 164,612 bytes
Freeware by Stephen E. Ellis
The New and Improved Home Beer Brewer's Utility kit. If you brew, YOU NEED THIS!
**NOW INCLUDES**
The Home Brewer's Beer Alcohol Content Calculator. The Home Brewer's Beer Beer Final Gravity Calculator. The Home Brewer's Beer Hopp Weight Calculator. The Home Brewer's Beer IBU Rate Calculator.
BrewWizzard v1.01 421,578 bytes
A home brew recipe calculator that will allow you to compute the alcohol content, bitterness and color based on ingerdients. Helps you to figure out what the final product will be like.
Suds Import Utility 83,528 bytes
SUDSCM imports the entire CATS MEOW 2 file into your SUDS program. You must have SUDS to use this.
Click Here For One Overbeer's Story of Redemption and An Early Start In Discerning The Power of Beer.
Click Here For First Edition of The Kegdom Ministry
SIncerely,
District Overbeer