adult children of alcoholics- waiting to go

operaluver

I was raised a witness by my mom, but am sorta drifting now to speak with really no practicing religion, but still deep in my heart believe it to be the truth, but guess I am stumbled by the many shortcomings of the people within the organization. One of the many messages I always remember was not to trust any outside organizations, not to talk to anyone, to seek counselling, or to even have any QUESTIONS??????

I think I really feel sorry for my mom, who has lived with an alcoholic all her life who was not in the truth, and she herself to escape, I am sure, drank as well, to relieve the pain of it all. Well we saw, and lived all of this while growing up, despite her denial that we were affected by an alcoholic father and a co-dependent mother.

At my young age of well lets say just left my 30's, I hit a wall and realised my life had been out of control for way too long now. With much help from my sister who is very enlightened, (also raised in the truth, but long gone from it), she gently showed me the "way"

I am looking forward to being able to go to this support group (ACOA) to help me deal with my up-bringing and to be able to talk to others in the same position.

I want to heal and grow, to gain self-esteem, and to learn to unlearn my "co-dependency behaviours" that were modelled for me from my childhood.

What I hate is the fact that I am telling my mom to seek counselling, support groups, to help her with her stuff, but she is against it and denys she has any problems, telling me she gets comfort from studying and the hope of things changing for the better when the new system comes. Yet she has had this hope for 40 years or so now, and what a life that has been..unhappiness with my dad..

I can't understand this at all.. The organization in my mind BRAINWASHES YOU TO BELIEVE YOU ARE MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY CAPABLE OF COPING WITH WHATEVER YOUR LIFE DISHES OUT TO YOU,, and discourages you from gaining any insight into your well-being via OUTSIDE SOURCES...

LIKE, ARE ALL BROTHERS TRAINED PROFESSIONALS IN DEALING WITH ALL THE PSYCHOLOGICAL, EMOTIONAL, ETC, PROBLEMS WITH THE FLOCK? She tells me she seeks councelling from the elders when she feels the need, but I think thats a crock of """"""""

The elders are just ordinary people, not trained in these special matters,,

Anyways, we all need help from time to time..

Satanus

Welcome aboard. A few here have gone through what you have, and what your mother is going through. Those acoa meetings will be great for you. I can say that because i went to some codependence meetings, which are similar.

Your mother has been taught to be helpless. The wt does this to all it's people, by telling them not to rely on peoples' efforts to fix things, just waste their whole lives waiting for an absentee god to do everything for them. Your mother is in heavy denial. You may not be able to get her out. So, the main thing is to keep on helping yourself. Hang in there. Keep listening to opera.

SS

SPAZnik

Welcome operaluver.

I read the book, "Adult Children of Alcoholics". Very good stuff there as well.

Anutha good book is "Boundaries - Where You End, and I Begin"

Glad to see you gettin' some help ta deal with yer stuff.
That's a great step to take in bettering your life. All the best to ya!

SPAZ

FreePeace

Hi operaluver, check out this site... it may help: http://www.empoweredrecovery.com

FP

blondie

operaluver,

Tell me how it goes. I go to ACOA meetings too. I cried at the first one because I finally found people who felt like I did and didn't judge me. People from all walks of life were there. I've been going for about 10 years.

Blondie

Mum

Welcome to the forum. As you have seen, many of us have "been there, done that." My father was an alcoholic and prescription drug addict. My mother was on "nerve pills" and a host of other meds to cope. Life in that looney bin made me think JW life was beautiful indeed. Was I naive!

I'm glad you're getting some support and help. You're blessed with good fortune in having a sister who seems to have managed to get normal. There's always something new to discover about yourself, and you're making a good start.

Best wishes,

SandraC