holiday angst

by patches 2 Replies latest jw friends

  • patches
    patches

    I grew up as a witness. ; Forced into it actually by my mother. ; I was originally baptised Catholic and spent a lot of time with my Catholic Grandma. ; I hated the whole JW thing. ; Never accepted any of it. ; Just went to every damn meeting with mom and abstained from any life affirming childhood experience because I was a well behaved kid.

    <P>Here's the problem: ; Now that I am a grown-up, the holidays are a nightmare for me. ; I simply can not enjoy them. ; I have to approach them from an adult point of view but with a child-like longing for something I have missed. ; It doesn't help that I spend some of the holiday with my boyfriend's family where his parents still treat him like a child and shower him with expensive gifts. ; I give gifts as well but my need for them, both from an economical standpoint as well as an emotional one, is still great. ; I know it's not about the gifts but I feel that I have missed out on some shared cultural experience that leaves me feeling like only part of a person. ; It is hell on the self-esteem. ; This year, I am turning down the Christmas morning at his house and will preserve my dignity at home with my 6 year old daughter. ; She will have the Christmas experience as best as I can construct it. ; </P>
    <P>Now, for all of the current JW's out there, please hold your comments. ; I go to a nice Presbyterian church now and am very happy to have all my spiritual needs met especially wrt to Christmas. ; I would like to hear from the grown up children of JW's who also missed out. ; Is this a normal feeling? ; How do you deal with it? ; </P>
    patches

  • SixofNine
    SixofNine

    *sob* patches, is that you?????!!!!! *sniff*

    On a more serious note, the WT organization affected me adversely for 36 years. I'm certainly not going to let some bullshit holiday affect me adversely in the least.

    Play to win, ya silly thang. He who dies with the most happiness wins.

  • Utopian_Raindrops
    Utopian_Raindrops

    ((((Hugs)))) Patches,

    I am so sorry you can't get on with your life compleatly.

    When a person chooses to leave a way of life they should be able to build for themselves a new one that makes them happy and satisfied.

    I think starting a new life is like moving to a new school when your a child.......you don't forget the old one...but the new one is very different and Foriegn.

    When I was a kid my parents moved alot for awhile and I was always changing schools and homes.

    I had this game I used to play with my self when walking into a new school......I would pretend I had always been there. I'd just close my eyes...regroup and walk in.

    The goal was to speak to every new person as if they were an old friend and not let myself feel uncomfortable during the new schools RITUAL of the day.To pretend that's how it always was and always would be.

    I know it worked not only by how I felt but, because many kids would comment about how they felt like they always knew me.When I became a teen It only took 2 days to get used to this one high school I moved to.

    So try Patches to go about you New life and make it your own wonderful world the best you can on this crazy planet.

    So you know....I am a disfellowshipped JW who plans on returning....still and all I am your neighbor and fellow human ....I want all people to be as happy as they can with the life they choose.

    That's why I gave to you this advice. Jehovah's sun shines on everyone...and his rain waters the fields of all.

    Hope this helped some sugar.

    ty for listening.

    bye bye 4 now!

    agape,

    Utopian_Raindrops

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