Bushspeak

Simon

Apologies if this has already been posted ...

George Bush.: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condoleeza R.: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George B.: Great. Lay it on me.
Condoleeza R.: Hu is the new leader of China.
George B.: That's what I want to know.
Condoleeza R.: That's what I'm telling you.
George B.: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condoleeza R.: Yes.
George B.: I mean the fellow's name.
Condoleeza R.: Hu.
George B.: The guy in China.
Condoleeza R.: Hu.
George B.: The new leader of China.
Condoleeza R.: Hu.
George B.: The Chinaman!
Condoleeza R.: Hu is leading China.
George B.: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condoleeza R.: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George B.: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condoleeza R.: That's the man's name.
George B.: That's who's name?
Condoleeza R.: Yes.
George B.: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condoleeza R.: Yes, sir.
George B.: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condoleeza R.: That's correct.
George B.: Then who is in China?
Condoleeza R.: Yes, sir.
George B.: Yassir is in China?
Condoleeza R.: No, sir.
George B.: Then who is?
Condoleeza R.: Yes, sir.
George B.: Yassir?
Condoleeza R.: No, sir.
George B.: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condoleeza R.: Kofi?
George B.: No, thanks.
Condoleeza R.: You want Kofi?
George B.: No.
Condoleeza R.: You don't want Kofi.
George B.: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk.
And then get me the U.N.
Condoleeza R.: Yes, sir.
George B.: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condoleeza R.: Kofi?
George B.: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condoleeza R.: And call who?
George B.: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condoleeza R.: Hu is the guy in China.
George B.: Will you stay out of China?!
Condoleeza R.: Yes, sir.
George B.: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condoleeza R.: Kofi.
George B.: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condoleeza R.: Rice, here.
George B.: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East.

Shakita

very funny

Here's some more dozzies direct from the prez's mouth:

"This administration is doing everything we can to end the stalemate in an efficient way. We're making the right decisions to bring the solution to an end."

"Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream."

"Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?"

"The benefits of helping somebody is beneficial."

More can be found at www.dubyaspeak.com. Very funny stuffand all true!

Mrs. Shakita

Yerusalyim

Simon,

I was rolling in the aisle, HILARIOUS!

Pleasuredome

speaking about the war on terrorism:

" ...and there's no doubt in my mind, not one doubt in my mind, that we will fail" to labor department employees, Oct. 4, 2001

" But all in all, it's been a fabulous year for Laura and me." - Dec. 21, 2001

' ' I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believeI believe what I believe is right." - in Europe, July 22, 2001 .

"You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.'' - February 21, 2001

"Redefining the role of the United States from enablers to keep the peace to enablers to keep the peace from peacekeepers is going to be an assignment . " - New York Times, Jan. 14, 2001

"Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?"- Florence, S.C., Jan. 11, 2000

" You fucking son of a bitch. I saw what you wrote. We're not going to forget this. " - said to Wall Street Journal columnist Al Hunt, 1986.

OUTLAW

Hey Simon,thats some funny writing,LOL!...OUTLAW