Kingdom Hall personalities

by freedom96 9 Replies latest jw friends

  • freedom96
    freedom96

    Just as people have different personalities, I believe that individual congregations also had their own personality.

    The hall I went to while growing up, was just awful. The PO of the hall was known in the entire area, and was just a tyrant. You didn't get away with anything at all. There were no grey areas. Everyone was taught to be cautious of the other, for fear of bad association even between witnesses. No dancing, not too many get togethers, etc. Anything that was taught by the WTS was taken to the extreme.

    Now, just on the other side of town, was another Kingdom Hall. This one actually had two built together, and had about 5 congregations between them. If you went to this hall, it was actually pleasant in comparision. The elders seemed to actually care, and you felt that you could have actual friendships. Oh sure, the teaching was the same, but everything had a lighter tone to it. Going out in service was much more tolerable (they went for donut breaks), the meetings were even easier to attend. The kids had more friends, and got together much more often. I cannot even begin to spell out the differences.

    Both were full of witnesses, and had the same teachings, but one was tolerable, the other not. I never attended the "fun" hall, as I left the area. I moved about 600 miles away, and found a hall, that though it was not as bad as the one I grew up in, it was not enjoyable. Moved again, about 1,000 miles away, and again, found a hall not as bad as the original one, but more like what I think most halls are like.

    Had I stayed in the area that I grew up in, I know for sure I would have moved into the "fun" hall. I wonder how long I would had stayed. It scares me to think, that being it was so easy going, would I had stayed a witness for years more? It was easy going enough there that I don't think I would have tried too hard to look elsewhere. Lots of friends, I could have worked with some of the brothers there. There would not have had much chance to consider leaving. Kind of like a little shelter, where everything is ok.

    So much for the "unity" that there is. Perhaps the hall I grew up in was the one extreme of strictness, and the other hall was extreme in its ability to be relaxed and loving. Maybe most halls are in the middle, just following the stupid rules and teachings that the WTS puts out there.

    A question I have is: Would it had been harder for you to leave had the congregation been more friendly, loving, accepting? What would have been the final straw? Did you notice big differences in the halls you attended? Would you have lasted longer in one hall over another?

    For me, it was seeing a lack of love, lack of unity to start with. I faded away, then learned what I now know.

  • TresHappy
    TresHappy

    I remember Lorri MacGregor's ministry had a video a few years ago. I think one of the characters was a "Sister Beagle." the sister always getting into every one's business.

  • happyout
    happyout

    Was this "double hall" in Carson, CA? If so, that is the hall I went to for a great deal of my life. It was ok, the brothers were definitely not tyrants, but GOOD LORD THEY WERE BORING!!! There was one Sunday meeting when no one was raising their hand for the Watchtower study, and the brother on the podium actually asked if we were having Laker letdown (they had lost a big game the night before). The people were ok, but there were definitely cliques. Since my family was well respected, and there was a bookstudy at my house, I was in the in crowd so to speak. I probably would have stayed in longer, except I moved out of my Mom's house, and saw my chance to escape easily.

  • Incense_and_Peppermints
    Incense_and_Peppermints
    Would it had been harder for you to leave had the congregation been more friendly, loving, accepting? Did you notice big differences in the halls you attended? Would you have lasted longer in one hall over another?

    yes, yes, and yes.

  • jws
    jws

    Sounds similar to my experiences. My 2nd hall where I spent most of my time growing up seemed very similar. Very strict. Tough on everyone. In my mid-teens, we moved to a different hall where everyone was friendlier, but it had it's cliques. If you were on the outside of the cliques, it wasn't too fun. But they did a lot together and didn't have that attitude where they expect you to do wrong. They played volleball, basketball, football, softball, etc. on a weekly basis.

    My brother and I got on the outs with the cliques. Luckily, we had each other for friendship and always made worldly friends. When I left, I had, in fact, stopped attending meetings. It's been a while and there were probably several reasons. But, one of the major ones was it was getting too hard to make all the meetings. Was late half the time as it was and rather than be stared at, I'd rather just skip. And hated field service too. It was during that time that I read "apostate" literature and decided not to return.

    Leaving friends behind was not so much a factor to me as I had other wordly friends that I had more fun with anyway.

    But I think leaving a friendlier congregation helped me keep from being more bitter about all of them.

    Another thing I noticed was differences by region. I lived in Wisconsin and if you got DFed, 6 months would be a short time before you got reinstated. Try more like a year or two on average. I met a girl at a quick-build hall some 300 miles away in Minnesota. At her hall, people got DFed and sometimes got reinstated in as little as 6 weeks. Whether you agree with shunning or not, this seems a lot more humane. You get sort of a little embarassment and punishment for your wrong - just enough to make you reconsider ever doing it again - and then get welcomed back.

  • link
    link

    Definitely a congregations personality is formed by the personalities of the people in it. I have attended some strange ones.

    In one remote congregation that I went to almost the entire congregation of some seventy people were related to each other and there was only two surnames in it. There was so much inbreeding that some of them were starting to have strange looking kids.

    Another congregation grew quite rapidly and split twice with about sixty people in each of three congregations to start with. However it was not long before one congregation got a name for being free and easy and quite laid back about things. This congregation now has a hundred in it and the other two 40 each.

    People in congregations seem to be very aware of the personalities that they have.

    link

  • LB
    LB

    Would it had been harder for you to leave had the congregation been more friendly, loving, accepting?

    I belonged to the most judgemental congregation on the planet. It was easy to leave them.

  • El Kabong
    El Kabong
    I think one of the characters was a "Sister Beagle." the sister always getting into every one's business

    I remember Sister Beagle. "APOSTATES!!!!" The woman who played her on the video had that type of character down to a tee. I think every KH had a Sr Beagle.

  • KAYTEE
    KAYTEE

    No doubt you've all heard of the TV programmes - Builders from Hell, Plumbers from Hell etc. well ours was

    The Kingdom Hall from Hell.....!

    KT

  • els
    els

    When I was growing up our congregation was one of the fun ones. We had square dances, rollerskating, picnics, swimming, softball, iceskating and sledding. Any excuse for a good party. We had a lot of fun and I thought I had a lot of good friends. All this did make it hard to leave but I never really did believe and there were alot of things wrong that weren't taken care of. So I walked away and found out that despite all the fun, my friends weren't really all that concerned about me.
    Now, years later I'm not DAed or DFed but everyone really knows where I stand and my family shuns me. The congregation is still fun though and the people there now really seem to care about my parents. They take really good care of them. Which makes me pretty certain that even if I could expose the problems with the society they wouldn't consider leaving because it's their whole life and to them it is a good one. els

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