I just ordered Steve Hassan's books, Combatting Cult Mind Control and Releasing the Bonds. Have any of you read either of them and have any comment...particularly about his Strategic Interactive Approach? Thanks in advance.
Gig
Have you ever...?
by Gig 5 Replies latest jw friends
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Iwasyoungonce
Yes Gig I have read both books. If you want to understand why the cult mind does what it does they are fantastic. If you want to save the cult mind from itself that is another story. If you want to have your own mind and be able to make desions around the cult mentality it is good too. Just remember that it may quickly come to the point where you are threatened or someone (they the cult members) becomes quite physical. (did with me) Even in the book it says say your peice and get out. You stay in control of what you listen too. Remeber that NO is an acceptable answer or response.
The #1 things that the books did for me was it explained why the cultie became so angry when I like offered to take or send them on vacations. I subscribe to the "Tom Peters" way of operating my business. He says that doing things like mini vactions are a great way to keep your employees happy and they with you. So I offered trips to my jw employee. She acted like I punched her in the gut. Now I know that an SIA will include offering a "vacation." And that trip is a front to try to deprogram the little cultie.
To bad for the little girl though. I had no idea what a SIA was. I was just offering a trip to keep my employee happy. Even though she was family she would have never been worth all the money it would cost to do a SIA by professionals. And, without the book I did an SIA type interaction with my family. The result was being threatened with my car being blown up. (for real) I have no contact with them now. And I am quite happy. I have no desire to have relations again. It is the best way for all of us to have the best relations; To not have any. I recommend the books for you. To prepare you for the world that you live in. Don't read the books to "free" others. Make sure that you are free in mind, soul, and body. One of the best ways that we can fight is to have a life that others wish they could have. Then tell them that they can if they want to, support them and believe in them. Ultimatly we are all responsible for ourselves and our own happiness. No matter how hard we try we can not please others if they choose to be unhappy in all circumstances.
Happy day,
Jay
P.S. "If you belive that you exist in the one true religion and dismiss all others then you are 99% athiest and only have one more religion to go."
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detective
I read both books and found them helpful. While I didn't employee the SIA tactic as it wasn't really viable in my situtaion, I did employee some of the suggestions for conversation starters and avoiding conversational pitfalls. Of course, i still managed to fall into a whole bunch of pitfalls, but at least I knew some of the steps that I had to take to repair the damage and regain the trust.
I haven't really talked in too much detail about what transpired between myself and the friend I was trying to "free" but I will tell you that it took a long time to even feel somewhat successful. After months of dropping various tidbits into conversation (usually about control tactics by other groups), we ended up arguing bitterly in the end. I did the best I could with my "intervention", finally getting around to drawing more and more comparisons between other cult groups and JWs. Then I dropped some JW related info. The UN scandal, wrong dates etc.
My friend barely spoke to me for months. One thing that I did, which I think is fairly important, is that I kept writing him emails. Every couple of weeks or so I'd try to send something friendly-ish along. Honestly, I was pretty pissed and hurt so it took alot out of me to write even the most mundane "hi. hope you are well." email! Funny, it was the last thing I wanted to do, but I think it might have been the best thing I could have done.
I wish I had a "team" of friends as suggested by hassan, but I didn't have that resource. Only a few of our mutual friends really understood the high-control nature of the group. It would have been nice to have some back-up.So, in short, I'd take some of the advice and modify it to reflect your situation. It can't hurt to be aware of the advice offered by a cult expert, right?
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Mulan
Yes, I have read both books. They were wonderful and very cleansing for me.
When we stopped being JW's, some of the people we knew were somewhat alarmed at the radical personality change in me. (it wasn't bad, but I was very different) Reading the first book, helped me to see why that happened. There is a cult personality and then there is the REAL you.
I got in touch with the real me, finally after a lifetime of suppressing who I am. It feels FANTASTIC!!!
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MegaDude
I read his first one "Combatting Cult Mind Control." The book does not mention Jehovah's Witnesses, and it is amazing how other cults are out there operating like the Watchtower and some that make Jehovah's Witnesses seem like Disneyland. But they all use the same mind control tactics and they are clearly delineated in this good book.
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Quotes
I like it so much I posted a review on Amazon.com.
That review is probably gone now, but it has been preserved at http://www.gospelcom.net/apologeticsindex/books/combatting.html who liked it so much they asked me if they could use it at their site. Of course, I said yes.
Here is my review of Combatting Cult Mind Control:
An excellent examination of the cult phenomena. Described as "The #1 Best-selling Guide to Protection, Rescue, and Recovery from Destructive Cults," Hassan's book explains what elements are common to cults, and what defines a cult.
As a former member of the the Unification Church (a.k.a. "Moonies") and a psychologist (he obtained his degree after exiting the Moonies), Hassan offers a unique perspective and insight into the cult movement.
Although peppered with examples and anecdotes from the Moonies, Hassan is careful to keep the analysis general enough to apply to many other "questionable" groups and organizations.
When is a cult not a cult? Does a group have to be "religious" to be a cult, or could a "non-religious" cult exist? Hassan answers these questions and more, and clearly defines the difference between unusual beliefs (which do not necessarily identify a group as a cult) and dangerous & destructive social factors (which, independent of the beliefs, make a group a cult, according to Hassan's definition).Strongly recommended for anyone who has friends or family in an "unusual" group; this book will help you to either dismiss your fears of cult involvement, or give you the advice you need to deal with this difficult situation.
Even more strongly recommended for anyone who feels they are an a group that has been "mislabelled" by society as a cult. This book will either help you to understand what defines a cult (so you can defend yourself against criticism) or else give you an interesting perspective on how others view your organization.