1. Your butt is never a factor in a job interview
2. Your orgasms are real - ALWAYS
3. Your last name stays put
4. The garage is all yours
5. Wedding plans take care of themselves
6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid
7. Car mechanics tell you the truth
8. You dont give a rats ass if someone notices your new haircut
9. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area
10. Same work - more pay
11. Wrinkles add character
12. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments
13. WEdding Dress: $2,000+; Tux Rental $100.
14. If you retain water - its in a canteen
15. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
16. New shoes doen't cut, blister or mangle your feet
17. One mood - ALL the damn time
18. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds
19. A five day vacation requires only 1 suitcase.
20. You can open all your own jars.
21. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness
22. Your underwear is $10.00 for a three-pack
23. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices
24. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passengers seat
25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough
26. You can quietly watch a game w/your buddy for hours without ever thinking "he must be mad at me".
27. Maxi pads - nuff said
28. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
29. You are not expected to know the names of more than 5 colors
30. YOu don't have to stop & think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt
31. You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes
32. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades
33. Your belly usually hides your big hips
34. One wallet & one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons
35. You can "do" your nails w/a pocket knife
36. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives on December 24th - in minutes
37. The world is your urinal