Life is life and it's so boring

by Nicolas 9 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  Nicolas

  I have a been a little Jehovah Witness from the age of five years old to the age of eighteen and I still can't find a way to appreciate the life. Now I'm nineteen years old and I don't know what to do with this life and I'm almost always at my computer, in my bedroom. Why the hell do I don't go outdoor to do some funny activities? I really don't know why maybe it's because my brain is still telling me to avoid those worldly peoples? I admit that I have been a lurker on this site since a long time but I don't post often. But now, I'm really wondering why do I have to suffer like this, I take some Paxil to help me with my social phobia and my anxiety but it's still very hard to cope with the daily routine. Suicide would be such an easy solution, after all there's no hell and no heaven... but I can't do that because I'm important for some peoples ;-(

  Edited by - Nicolas on 9 December 2002 0:33:23
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  LB

  Lots of people start getting down when they take Paxil. I suggest spending a little time and considering what you would enjoy doing. A new activity. Maybe the arts, backpacking, scuba (my choice), cycling or whatever. Then going out and doing it. You will meet people with similar interests. There is nothing boring about life. There is a lot to do. If I can find things to enjoy at age 56 you can find tons of things to enjoy at 19. Step away from the JW mentality and go have some fun.
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  Robdar

  Nicolas,

  The only way to do things is to get out there and do them. The more you interact socially, the easier it will become. The thing to remember is that most people you will meet are insecure too. Project the emotions that you would have the others feel about you. Example: emote happiness and comaraderie. Others will pick up on it and that is the way that they will see you. BTW, I am an actress. Even though I am introverted and shy in real life, I have found the above ideas to be helpful when meeting others. Life is a stage and you are a star. I wish you well.
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  Utopian_Raindrops

  Nicolas,

  I have to agree with LB and Robdar.....You need to take a deep breath...walk out the door...and at 1st pretend you are confident and out going. Don't hesitate or stuter...go with the flow.

  I am asuming you are at home with your parents and so couldn't just go out and hang with whom ever you choose. Even at 19.

  My daughter and I were discussing how the young men at the KH...even in thier 20s have to ask thier parents about where they are going and what they are doing.

  I think this builds low self esteem but, this is for you to decide as Family is more important then any recreational activity.

  Still it is obvious you need to get out and off your Computer!

  To quote Mame Dennison,"Life is a banquet and most poor son's a bitches are starving!"

  Maybe you could start by inviting "The Friends" from your KH to your place....then make movie outtings....picnics....etc. I have a friend still in "The Truth" and she was very lonely for sometime untill she decided to take the lead in this. She invited people and she called and reminded people...etc etc. She got quite push at one point But she is NO LONGER lonely most of the time. Matter a fact now everyone is calling her!

  This is hard for an introverted person to do but, if you take Robdar's advice and pretend...act...at 1st...then one day it wont be an act...being out going will become a part of you.

  When I was a kid my parents spent some time moving around alot.This ment new schools for me and my brother...sometimes 3 times in a year.

  I developed this game I played with myself ,where I would pretend I had always gone to that school. I would walk in...take a breath....and just imagine this had always been my school...that I had known these kids forever. It realy worked! I once had a girl who was jelous of my popularity at one school exclame,"You act like you always have been here!" I just smiled cause that had been my point! Other students I hardly knew would tell me thier life stories and tell me how they felt like they always knew me.

  I know when your shy it doesn't sound easy to do...but I think if you try you can do it!

  Let us know how things go Nicolas......and in the mean time you can always chat here as you little by little start your new life.

  agape,

  bye bye 4 now

  Utopian_Raindrops
• 

  Introspection

  Hi Nicolas,

  Well most people don't want to talk about suicide, but I think a good question you might ask is: What wants to die? My guess is it's probably the social phobia, anxiety and so on. I mean who would want the good stuff to die, right?

  I'm not going to try and tell you what's true since that's never going to be as good as you finding out for yourself, but I can say it seems to me that sometimes these things just has to run its course. I would say be careful about forcing yourself into some mold though because people say you're supposed to be outgoing and social, be anxiety free and all that stuff. I'm sure you'd like to be that way like the rest of us, it's nice to be mellow and relaxed - but if you try to force it that just adds another level of stress doesn't it? Maybe first you were just anxious about any old thing, now you're anxious about your anxiety - or maybe you're afraid that your phobia isn't going away as quickly as it's supposed to and so on. I think your quote is good advice you might give yourself - just be true. By all means work on getting where you want to be, but don't fake it. If you're experiencing your phobia or anxiety, don't pretend it isn't there. Just be honest with yourself.

  I've been where you've been, when I was younger I had people tell me to go out and be social. However, what I've found is simply that I am not interested in socializing for it's own sake, it's just empty. I'm not afraid of people anymore, and I suppose I'm just kind of picky with who I hang out with. It doesn't mean I don't want to have anything to do with everybody else, I just won't stick with them like glue because that's not what I want. So just listen to yourself and see what you want, moment by moment. Sometimes you get advice and it seems like a multiple choice situation, but it isn't. There are a lot of possibilities. Just look in yourself for the answer, but hopefully some of this can help you find it there.
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  Shutterbug

  Nicolas,

  The previous posters here have given you some excellent advice. L.B. gave you several choices, including his personal choice, scuba. Mine is photography, thus the name, shutterbug. Now neither one of these things may be your "thing" but, believe me there is something out there that you will enjoy. But, we can't do these things for you, that is where you come in. Find something you enjoy and get out there and do it.

  As you can see, the folks on this forum can and want to be helpful. The rest is up to you. Best wishes.
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  rebuilding94

  Nichloas, your darn right's people care about you, your family,friend's, even those who read your post, including myself.

  Im a mom of three teen's, my daughter is also on Paxil, she goes through the stuff you do , your not alone. She need's to do thing's at her own pace, every one has "a pace" you need to discover what that is for you, your in charge of your own life, Your journey is just starting and only you can make it bloom into what you want. Take it a day at a time, some days will be better that other's, just take them as they come, the good with the bad, the exicting with the boreing.(all of us have shitty day's)

  Life is hard, and full of many challanges, hang in there, there will be so much for you to see and do. There are "coffee break's" in this life. The beauty all around you, the parties you have to go to, the girl friend's you'll have, may be traveling, the book's to read, and maybe one day marriage and kid's, so much to do and see.

  Dont give up, and please dont beat your self up with negitive message's about your self. " you are wonderfully and beautifully made".

  .........from a mom that care's.............
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  jgnat

  Nicholas, by the time I was thirteen I was trying to figure out what kind of purpose my life could have. I did not like the kind of life society and my parents had mapped for me. College, marriage, house, kids. That suburban future seemed so BOOOOORING. And it wasn't mine. A whole bunch of circumstances later, I had more purpose for my life than I could shake a stick at. You said,

  I don't know what to do with this life

  Boredom is a signal that your life can be improved upon. And at nineteen, you have an amazing array of choices for improvement (even if you haven't thought of them yet). Look at some of the old fogies who have responded to your thread, how they have come up with hobbies and interests that really have meaning for them. To give my daily life meaning and focus, I have goals. I start with a dream, "Where do I want to be in 5 years?" I write it down. Then I figure out some of the things I have to do to get there. What could I do right now? I write down those goals, with deadlines.

  If you are a procrastinator like me, share a goal or two with a trusted friend (you don't have to share the whole thing. Goals can be very personal). Nothing like the fear of embarrassment to put the fire under my butt.
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  nightwarrior

  HI THERE

  You talk about suicide well ,just listen a moment ,as you get older your life will and does change,so dont think along the lines that everything is and will remain the same,have you changed since the age of 5 of sourse you have,your destiny is in your own hands and as you grow older everything remains the same yet changes,you say someone cares for you well thats a start ,its a bridge for you to build upon ,many think of what you have at the moment ,think of what you want,allso what else do you want to achieve,start at the begining and go for it,give yourself goals,you will meet new and wonderfull people in the next couple of years ,just wait and see,

  As far as your computer is concerned ,cut down the use of it and try and do as the other loving people have suggested ,you can win your race, as far as no heaven is concerned you dont beleive that do you as where jah is ,the creator is where heaven dwells, ime sure youll find most people will agree with that statement

  look to a future ,,,,,,,,,,,,,imagine if you had nothing, TAKE CARE
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  Nicolas

  Thanks a lot fot your help. I have to specify that I'm not a JW anymore, I stopped going at the meeting at the age of fifteen and I was never baptized. I hope that things will be getting better with Christmas celebration, it will be my second real Christmas in my entire life and I hope I'll have a lot of fun.