Dear Friends,
Every day of our lives we are affected by our own perceptions of what we were, what we have become, and what we hope to be. I believe that our experiences with the WTBTS have significantly made us each aware of how vital it is to find our joy and happiness and hold onto it like a prized possession.
I have been finding myself rather annoyed at how materialistic our society is, especially during this season, and I can't seem to find where "christmas" is in all of this. Children grow more spoiled daily. Even needy families give lists of things their children "need", which turns out to be expensive video games that promote killing and violence. Husbands will go broke trying to satisfy wives and children, who "want, want, want", and don't know what it is do really do without. People continue to get "stuff", and are still never satisfied. Budgets are ruined. Credit card debt is high. No one wants to wait for anything anymore. And, when the immediate gratification for a desire achieved is gone, then its on to the next "want". What is going to become of us, if we can't learn from the past, and grow and appreciate the things that cannot be bought with money, things that have never had a price tag, and never will?
We are such tiny specks on this planet, which is a tiny speck in this galaxy, which is a tiny speck in this universe. Sometimes I wonder if there really is a plan for us at all, or are we just at the mercy of beings that we will not ever be able to see or understand. Will we "tick" our last "tock", and still be empty of any real proof? I'd like to believe that this will not be the case, but I have no real proof to show any of you--only my experiences. Does this mean that the enlightenment I have experienced is just some short circuit in my brain, or a hormonal imbalance?
I connected with someone from this forum who has sent me a couple emails, and basically said that I am only fooling myself, and that my "dream" is just a dream, and not really any different than the ideas of theories of others who have their own opinions about this and that. Since that message, I have found myself in deep meditation over the matter. This person "suggested" that I might be falling into a trap, designed to keep me away from "the truths of the bible", especially since I have moved away from believing those writings as "the word" of god.
I suppose it is good to test ourselves, and to step back and see where we are and if this is truly where we want to be. Perhaps that's where I find myself right now, and I need some time to reflect and ponder over my journey so far this year. There have been some major changes in how I perceive my world and what my personal hopes and dreams are, not just for myself, but for all mankind. I suppose in one's journey on the road of life, if we don't stop to "regroup" now and then, and see if we are still on that path we want to be on, or if we need to redirect ourselves a bit.... even with the best of intentions and a good heart, we might find that we have ventured a bit off course.
My best wishes to everyone for a safe and joyfull holiday season with family and friends.