Christmas Cake

Surreptitious

CHRISTMAS CAKE

Ingredients:

1 cup of water

1 tsp baking soda

1 cup of sugar

1 tsp salt

1 cup of brown sugar

lemon juice

4 large eggs

nuts

1 bottle Jose Cuervo

2 cups of dried fruit

Sample the Cuervo to check quality.

Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo again. To be sure it is of the

highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer.

Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again.

At this point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK. Try

another cup .... just in case

Turn off the mixerer thingy.

Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Pick the frigging fruit up off floor.

Mix on the turner.

If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a

drewscriver.

Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who giveshz a shid.

Check the Jose Cuervo

Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or somefing. Whatever you can find. Greash the

oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to

beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window, Finish the Jose Cuervo and kick the dog.

CHERRY MISTMAS!

Utopian_Raindrops

Hey Surreptitious,

Sounds like your X-mas cake would go great with my turkey recipe!! It was realy for Thanksgiving but, could be used for Christmas as well

Step 1) Go buy a turkey.
Step 2) Take a drink of Whiskey, scotch, or JD.
Step 3) Put turkey in the oven.
Step 4) Take another 2 drinks of whiskey.
Step 5) Set the degree at 375 ovens.
Step 6) Take 3 more whiskeys of drink.
Step 7) Turn oven the on.
Step 8) Take 4 whisks of drinky.
Step 9) Turk the bastey
Step 10) Whiskey another bottle of get.
Step 11) Stick a turkey in the thermometer.
Step 12) Glass yourself a pour of whiskey.
Step 13) Bake the whiskey for 4 hours.
Step 14) Take the oven out of the turkey.
Step 15) Take the oven out of the turkey.
Step 16) floor the turkey up off of the pick.
Step 17) Turk the carvey.
Step 18) Get our self another scottle of botch.
Step 19) Tet the sable and pour your self a glass of turkey.
Step 20) Bless the saying pass and eat out

riz

those are great

have you two been spying on me in my kitchen?!! *closes the curtains*

Surreptitious

Riz, are you think as I drunk you are?

ESTEE

Diverting a bit from the subject of Christmas cake --- However, Still on the Christmas theme ...

Can I have a puppy for Christmas?
Certainly not. You can have turkey like everybody else!

ESTEE_TX

riz

Riz, are you think as I drunk you are?

yesh I am, occifer.. *hiccup* I love you, man! *passes out*

Valis

Faithful & Discrete Cake or Upside Down WTBTS Cake

1 Cup leftover 1914 prophecy

2 Cups finely chopped Watchtower\Awake magazines

1/4 Cup deadly blood policy

2 packages of pedophilia cover up

1 tbsp shunning ( bullshit may be substituted if out of season)

1 tsp UN scandal

First, put on gas mask to avoid the stench. In medium bowl mix all the ingredients until delusional. Bake in the Lake of Fire for 40 days and 40 nights. Use minced time card for optional topping. Serves 6 million give or take the occassional dead child.

Sincerely,

District Overbeer