Kansas City

musicatto

Anyone in the Kansas City area, please send me an Email,

Gary

Valis

herself...musigatto probably means no harm and wants to know who might be in the vicinity...

musi, welcome to the board. You may get other comments questioning your motive for asking for email addresses right off the bat, and that's OK. One of the things here you will find are healthy doses of caution and sketicism, so be mindful that when people come w/the comments it isn't personal.

In case both you folks missed this I thought it might be prudent to point you in this direction before you start your journey here. It was taken from whyhideit's thread... http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.aspx?id=42662&site=3

You may not agree with all the points, but there are some gems of discussion board wisdom to pay attention to.

1. Some people on this board are the most kind loving people you will ever meet. They will say kind things regularly, they will support you, and they will be there with logical practical advice and reasoning, when you ask. Some are the complete opposites.
2.
If you want to agree with people, do so freely. If you want to disagree, be careful. Some people see disagreements as attacks on their personal friends (which some people see as their online posse) and will go to all measures to slander you, hurt you and defame your name from this board to other boards that are Ex-Jw communities. Why they do it varies, just be strongly aware they will do it and they will push you harder then your patients were ever tested in the Kingdom Hall at times.
3.
If someone e-mails you from this board, be careful. As not all e-mails are sincere and from the people they say they are from. In some cases it is a person who truly wants to get to know you, in other cases it is someone who wants to get information on you (See number two). If you think sending an e-mail back is innocent fun, learn what an ISP is quickly and be careful who you send personal information to, as your ISP could be posted elsewhere without your permission. If you must send an e-mail, use Hotmail, Yahoo or other online services that have free e-mail accounts (Do not feel this makes you 100% safe in contact!).
4.
Some people are one kind of person on this board, and some times completely different people on another boards. Again, see number two. Thinking you know people online well, is often the first step to a huge mess. If it does not feel right, there might be a reason.
5.
There are rules on this board, some people respect them and others hate them with a passion. They will stretch them, and bad mouth them here until they are restricted and then they will continue to do so on other Ex-Jw boards. Again, see number two. To add, as much as people bad mouth the rules, they will come back and post more after they cool off (Not all, but most).
6.
Everyone here, thinks they are right. It really just comes down to how far they are willing to go to prove to you that you are not as right as them.
7.
Do not be shocked when flame wars happen. They happen a lot, and it will not take long to see that certain online names attach onto them all and stir them up more then others. In the wars, you will see past flame wars mentioned that you never read or heard of. In many cases, you will not have a clue what is going on and you should be happy to stay that way. Do not offer your two cents worth, do not offer your advice (even if you think it is inspired by Jehovah) and do not think that you really know all the facts, as no one does and some are just simply made up to keep the war going.
8.
Some people are honestly on this board for pity, and they will often play the victim card in their comments. Others are on this board to fight and argue, and they will play this card too. For some reason, these two parties tend to get along very well and will often switch back in forth in roles. Happens often, you will catch on who does what in a short time.
9.
Just because someone is an Ex-Jw does not mean they are a good person for you to know and befriend. Do you want to know everyone in your town, or at your work? Well, the same goes for this board. If you do not click with everyone, you are not alone. Many others do not either. In time, you will make friends. Do not rush it, you might make a mistake (See number 4).
10.
Everyone on this board thinks in some way or another, that they were wronged by the Jehovah's Witnesses (you might too). Some of what they say might seem minor to you, other things you read about might make you think they are making it up, because it is so extreme. In any case, telling them that they are wrong or too extreme in their expressions leads to trouble, and possibly number two or three. Sometimes silence is golden, and exercising your right to say nothing is a true sign of intelligence.
11.
If you come across as to smart, some might call you EXTREME. You might even get a couple of references to you, by other posters, that say you sound like a Witness. This is because Christian views are often looked at like that, on Ex-Jw boards. Do not take it personal, many people here have been burned by Witnesses (seen as Christians) and anything that sounds to close, is offensive to them. This is really a minority.
12.
If you go to the chat-room on this board, it sometimes gets hard to follow. If you stick around long enough, you will get used to it and find it to be a safer way to speak back and forth with people you just met (See number 3). Be aware friendships can turn on a dime on this board, the person who is your friend today, might be sending your personal information to your enemies tomorrow. If people say there are no enemies on this board, see number two.
13.
When people say the truth about what is happening here, many people disagree. Not because they really disagree, they just like to express their freedom to disagree and use it often. Arguing with them about it, is something you have to decide on for yourself. Just remember number two and be careful of fake e-mails (See number three).
14.
It is Simon's board. If you want to be on it, respect the fact that he put this together and maintains it. If you don't like what you see and get upset about something someone says or does (including Simon), the mouse can click you away as easily as it clicked you here. Use your Microsoft or Netscape given right to back out of the board, and erase the link. When you come back to argue, or leave to other boards to carry on about the flame wars, well it might be a sign that you need to take these boards a few notches less serious (Especially if you only got to number 6, on this list, before you could not wait to slam this list on another board).
15.
Many people will see this list of 15 and disagree heavily. They will do one or all of the following, or maybe nothing. They might go to another Ex-Jw board and mention this list in an upset manner, not brave enough to mention it here (see number two). They might e-mail friends trying to recruit efforts to stop the list from being on the board, or they might laugh at this list and realize there is a lot of truth in it, and realize what we look like to others online that post and read. Especially the nice little pictures we must paint for the active Jehovah's Witnesses, who come in from time to time to see the evil APOSTATES attacking themselves.
Bonus additional point

You will read about APOSTAFEST, and they will sound like a lot of fun. Just remember. It is really hard to get Ex-Jw's to come together at times. When they do, you will have a blast and the problems of the board will mean nothing and be forgotten...

Once again, welcome to both of you....

Sincerely,

District Overbeer

Edited by - Valis on 18 December 2002 18:14:25

Robdar

Musicatto,

You have mail from Robdar/Robyn

herself

Excuse me, I did not mean my question "Why?" to be taken as a negative remark. I wanted to know why he wants to be contacted. I'm sure he or she is just fine, but would like to explain my experience and why I am reserved about writing to someone cold like that, without knowing more.

I was on a yahoo club a couple of years back for Ex-JWs. A note appeared similar to that, requesting that people in the area write. I wrote. For months afterwards I kept getting letters about being born-again. The person got more and more pointed about accepting his particular brand of Christianity. I am Christian, but not his brand. He eventually got rather aggressive about it, and started making me very nervous. He finally told me that my behavior was reprehensible. His request for people in a particular area to write to him meant that anyone who wrote to him probably lived in his general area.

When he first started out, he seemed so innocent and wanted to meet me for lunch to "talk." By the end of it, he was angry, and I was relieved I had not gone to meet him or let him know exactly what town I lived in.

So, I'm not going to contact someone who requests contact without a reasonable explanation as to why they want to be contacted, especially when it is in my general area of the country. I imagine Musicatto is fine. But that one experience made me SO uncomfortable that I am not likely to follow that same means of contact again without knowing more.

H.S.

Kansas City

musicatto

herself

Valis

Robdar

herself

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