If she had been someone I knew really well and was fond of, then that would be a different story. I basically never liked her, even though as JWs we were supposed to "love" one another. Yeah, right! There are people to this day I would hate to meet at an apostafest because they weren't very nice people as JWs either. She was never very likable. She was always so holier than thou, even before I DAed myself. So I really didn't care to talk to her.
The neat thing about the whole experience, however, was that it just wasn't that important. I actually kind of pitied her, following the rules of the cheese and cracker men and not even thinking for herself. She was still just as arrogant, but this time I felt really badly for her, because I was happy, and she was not, and she was acting arrogant, but it was all an act, based on lies. She just looked ridiculous in avoiding me because I really didn't want to talk to her at all! Her arrogance was based on a facade, a house of cards, and maybe someday it will all come tumbling down for her. Maybe not. I really don't care. After nine years, I really don't care. She was just another person in the Subway.
It's really nice to be at that place. Instead of wanting to play some prank or show her up, I just didn't care. I used to have revenge fantasies of wanting to get back at them and say something smart to put someone like her down. Now I am at a place where that just doesn't feel right. That's the neat part. After nine years, I was Shunned in the Subway and I didn't care. I didn't feel a thing. It didn't hurt a bit. It was nice not to have to feel like I needed to come up with some smart remark, a retort, or try to get one leg up on her. I knew I was in a better place, and that was enough.
It was a very nice feeling.
Tammy
