Year 2035

TorturedSoul

Headlines for the Year 2035 Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as California's third language. Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock. Baby conceived naturally . . . Scientists stumped. Authentic year 2000 "chad" sells at Sotheby's for $4.6 million. Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon). Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels. Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking. George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036. Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail to delivery on Wednesday only. 35-year study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss. Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative. Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights. Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants. Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches. Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest version of Windows so it crashes BEFORE installation is completed. New Federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, flyswatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January
2036. Congress authorizes direct deposit of illegal political contributions to campaign accounts. Capitol Hill Intern indicted for refusing to have sex with Congressman. IRS sets lowest tax rate of 75%.

nightwarrior

babies being born with two ears & the obligatory radio mast /transmitter sticking out of its head to coincide with a protruded,joining face telephone,last remaining members of jehovahs witnesses are rounded up force read the truth from gods word,are incarcerated for four weeks ,with there minds free are now normal members of society,hence set free to do as they please,

the last remaining members of kkk are shipped over to africa to live for a 20 yeas to convert as many as they scan to there way of thinking ,they then marry into the nation and live fruitfull lives ,with no malice to any nation.

Swan

I like this one!

Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest version of Windows so it crashes BEFORE installation is completed.

Thanks!

Tammy

Bendrr

Dick Clark hosts the 2035 New Year's Eve Special.

The State of Georgia repeals the law banning the sale of alcohol on Sundays.

Ronald Reagan's clone widely favored in the polls to win the Presidency in 2036.

The Watchtower of Jan 8, 2035 announces "new light" and defines "generation" as anyone who was alive in 1975 when Jesus' invisible presence began. (see previous "new light" in The Watchtower of April 1, 2014 when the date of 1914 was changed to 1975)

The Olsen Twins will be 49. (By the way, 525 days until they're legal!)

Mike.

back2dafront

The Olsen Twins will be 49. (By the way, 525 days until they're legal!)

My how time flies.

I just had my birthday, btw. 12/24/02 I turned 29.

The years just keep flying by so quickly it's crazy - I remember watching those little girls on tv like it was yesterday, now they're probably having sex! eesssh!

TR

Out of desperation for "New Light", the WTS exhumes the body of former president Fred Franz, to start cloning proceedures. Clone should be ready on Wednesday.

TR