Why are there no Jehovah's witnesses in heaven?
Because God and Saint Peter are behind the gates saying, "Sssshhhhhh! pretend we are not in!!"
by apostrate 9 Replies latest social humour
"As a doctor, I find religious zealots sickening. I had to let a 12 year old die because his parents are Seventh Day Adventists who don't believe in blood transfusions.", I complained to my friend.
"Isn't it Jehovah's Witnesses who don't allow blood transfusions?" he asked.
"Oh shit!"
Q: Are you one of Jehovah's Witnesses?
A: Hey, buddy, I never even saw the accident!
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Saint Peter was giving a tour of Heaven to a group of new arrivals, where each denomination had their own large room. As they would pass the rooms, he would identify the groups, such as "These are the Baptists and they are having a church supper" or "This is the Catholic area, and they are playing Bingo."
One room had a closed door and a large sign that read "Do Not Disturb!". As they passed this room, Saint Peter put forefinger to lips, and said "Quiet, please! These are the Jehovah's Witnesses - they think they are the only ones up here!"
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that's my supply of very OLD JW jokes.
xx
A little JW boy goes to his mom one day and asks, "Why do JWs hide pedophiles?"
His mother whacks him on the butt and says, "that's what apostates say! Go tell your Daddy what you just said!"
The boy goes into the living room and asks, "Why do JWs hide pedophiles, Papa?"
His Daddy smacks him on the back of the head and says, "Boy, that's what apostates say! Now you go tell your grandma what you just said!"
"Gramma, why do JWs hide pedophiles?"
She slaps his face and says "You sound just like an apostate" and sends him back to his mom.
His mother says "Well...did you learn somethig from all this?"
The boy shakes his head and says, "I guess I did. I've only been an apostate for 5 minutes and I already hate you JWs!"