Invisible Kingdom Of Jesus H. Christ Accidently Ended By Archangel Tripping Over Plug In Heaven
January 8, 2003
Reuters (C) Newswire
Dar Es Salaam - In an event which astonished the primarily Muslim population of downtown Dar Es Salaam, Jesus H. Christ, known as the Son Of God in most religious texts, suddenly materialized in a small restaurant. Witnesses at the scene stated that Mr. J. H. Christ popped into being from the middle of nowhere, and one witness reported that Mr. J. H. Christ appeared to have been eating an invisible bread roll with lamb filling right before he materialized.
Policemen were on the scene immediately, and Mr. J. H. Christ was arrested for causing a public disturbance. Nobody was injured when the materialization occurred, apart from one senior citizen who nearly choked to death on a pickle. Reporters arrived just in time to see Mr. J. H. Christ being pushed into a police van. Mr. J. H. Christ kept repeating over and over that he was innocent, and had just been having a roll, and not disturbing anyone, but this did not prevent him from being arrested and staying overnight in jail, where it alleged the entire prison population has suddenly become devout Christians, much to the consternation of their Muslim jail wardens.
Our Reuters correspondent in Heaven, near the Pleiades star cluster, told us that there were rumours doing the rounds in Heaven that a miscaltrant Archangel had tripped over a plug, interrupting power to the Invisibility Machine, which resulted in the sudden appearance of the Invisible Kingdom of God all over the world. Large castles, part of the Kingdom, are reported to have materialized in mid-air, causing large-scale confusion amongst airline pilots and hot-air balloonists, as well as a declaration from the White House that this "terrorism" was unnacceptable, and would be met with a show of force, starting with the destruction of all Kingdom Halls.
In a hastily scheduled press conference, the Pope has apologized for the mistake made by the Archangel, saying that everybody trips over a plug once in a while, even his Holiness. President Bush made a statement to assembled press officers at the White House, stating that this new wave of terrorism and "flying castles" effectively meant that the axis of evil has now become a four-dimensional basis vector of evil, and added "flying castles" and "The Invisible Kingdom Of Christ" to his list of enemies, which presently include Iraq and North Korea, amongst others.
US Military troops have already been deployed to the most heavily affected regions around the world, and all police officers have been told to round up terrorist conspirators, including anyone dressed in a suit walking around in hot weather. Reuters will keep you updated.