With the new program in process now,Elders' calling on all inactives as far back as you can go,I was giving this information concerning Elders' voice mail. They have a "Crisis Hotline".Here is how the system works.When you call the "Crises Hotline",a warm pleasant concerned recored voice answers:Hello,you have reached the crises hotline.All our Elders are busy at the time,but please stay on the line.We care about you and your problem.Your call will be answered in the order it was received.
While you wait please enjoy the calming music from kingdom melodies # 8,while listening to the repeated reading of Heb.13:17.Now when you get through you will hear:Thank you for waiting.If your problem is of a personal nature please press (1)now.If you have a dispute with someone press (2) now.If it is a complaint about the Elders or the Organization press(# 3)now.If you don't know what you want but want to keep the Elders from dinner,study or time with their families press(#4)now.
If you press #1, the message you will hear is:If you have done research in the Society's publication press 1now. If you have not done research press # 2.if you press 2 the phone hangs up.If you press # 1 you will hear : The next available Elder off a rotational list will be called at home.
Now if you have read Matt:18:15-17 press # 1 If you have applied Matt.press # 1and the next available Elder is called.If you press # 2 it means you didn't want to apply matt.and so the phone gives off a 240 volt shock and hangs up.
Now if you press # 3 your address is recorded electronically and a swat team from Bethel is dispatched.Press # 4 you will hear a recording of "Uh-huh,yes,oh I see,its ok,don't worry about it etc.etc.continually as long as you keep talking.
This Elders Voice Mail is sponsored by "EAS". Elders Against Stress, a small group of dedicated,yet stressed ouit Elders whose goal in life is to get enough time to sleep,study,prepare for meetings and recognize at least 60% of their family's members by sight.
So,for all of us inactives,beware, when the Elders Voice Mail don't get you dizzy,the Knock on the Door will. Blueblades