If they saw me now....

by starfish422 7 Replies latest jw experiences

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  starfish422

  I am sooooooo not the person I was when I was in the Borg. That person was young, naive, and had no more backbone than a jellyfish. She believed what she was told, because why would someone lie to her? She was Christian, non-political, homophobic, and violently opposed to premarital sex. (LOL - oh, very young!)

  If my parents suddenly stopped shunning me......they would not know me. If they expected me to be that same meek young woman who was incapable of standing up for herself (specifically, standing up to them), they would be sorely disappointed. I have become a completely different (better) person; strong, open-minded (yikes!!) and yet a skeptic, agnostic, very politically active, and in matters of sex I am really pretty liberal.

  I could never return to the Borg, even if I believed the fundamental religious core, because all the other stuff - the micro-managing by the WT of every facet of the members' lives, the blood issue, the pedophilia, supposed political neutrality, gay-bashing - I couldn't submit to.
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  Aztec

  That's wonderful starfish. It's good that you have grown and changed so much! I am pretty much the same although I've changed my opinion on a few things. I was never a homophobe or completely opposed to premarital sex. I also was very interested politics and in reading philosophy and exploring things. However, I am alot more outspoken and liberal than I was and I am lot more confident too. Since I no longer fear death at armageddon I am alot happier too!

  ~Aztec
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  confuzcious

  Just think what it was if you were a brother.

  No backbone? One of the things I regret is never standing up to things that I new were not right. Looking back, I did this more out of the fear that if I didn't agree with the PO's personal views, that somehow I wouldn't progress with privileges and such.
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  Dawn

  confuzcious - a lot of people can relate to that. We've all done it at one time or another out of fear. Don't beat yourself up - it's a learning experience - just use it to move on up to the next level of strength and freedom.
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  Freezin Friesian

  Star,

  It must be nice for you to be able to speak your mind and do what you want now. I, fortunely, was never the "perfect model witness". I liked pushing the elder and congregation busy bodies buttons. Now it is nice to be able to act, say, dress and like what I want to like without anybody looking down their noses at me for it. (LOL, I dunno about most congregations, but the one I attended with my family looked down upon rock music, goth clothing, faeries, dragons, wizards or anything of the like..... HEHEHEHE explains why I adored those things!)
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  Buster

  Superb thought. I can only imagine that the friends that I grew up with would have no idea of how to relate to me - or I to them. As best as I know, they all stayed with org as they grew to adulthood. They stayed through the 1975 debacle, they stayed even though our congregation had at least two cases of pedophiles molesting young girls in the congregation. One of those cases involved the daughter of one of my close friends.

  The men that they should have become were stifled out of existance. I don't think I could relate to men that would let their daughter get molested and leave the resolution up to Jehovah - oh, and move to another congregation. And it probably wouldn't be fair to excpect them to be able to relate to me.
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  outnfree

  Starfish,

  I've been LOL at your avatar "button"! VERY cool sentiment!

  Good for you for growing up and becoming a better person! The Witness religion does wear one down interminably and enforces conformity (NOT unity -- there's a difference!). It IS nice to get out from under that thumb.

  Welcome!

  outnfree
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  ugg

  i am definately not the same person either....really no contact for almost 1 1/2 years...i am changing also....it think it is called growth!!! i hope you continue to "grow" and become the person you were meant to be....