More JW guys date 'Worldly' girls than....

by ashitaka 9 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  ashitaka

  ...than JW girls do 'worldly' guys? You would think so from the posts here.

  How many posts have we seen here about JW guys who are dating non-JW chicks undercover (no pun)?

  Or is it just that JW girls are likely to be living at home and less likely to have a chance to date a worldly guy, because of the tight grip that JW parents have over their girls?

  From what I've seen when I was going to the hall, actually there are more JW girls that look for worldly guys. There was always the exception, of the 40-YO Spinster that is a reg. pioneer and has no life outside of that....it's sad, really.

  But, I think the question is all about the sexual.

  More JW guys will 'handle themselves' and JW girls would feel guilty about it.

  So, JW girls who need sex or really want to have kids will turn to worldly guys if they are 'desperate', will marry terrible, controlling, ugly, JW guys (the throwbacks), or be single and keep their minds clear of 'distractions' and pioneer eternally. That's why so many young JW girls are vipers and snatch any available young guy who isn't a monster, and marry very young. They're not stupid. They know that they'd lose their families if they married a 'worldly' guy, and would rather sacrifice the last years of their youth and get married to someone who is 'ok' rather than wait and have fun, and later have to settle for some Godzilla.

  The JW girls have terrible options.

  The JW guys have a wide berth, it seems. Not only can they 'handle themselves', but also date on the down low, and get away with it. They are out of their family homes ususally, and living in a JW bachelor pad, which sometimes is worse than a couple of normal guys being roomates.

  The old male/female double standard. No good decisions to make. No wonder a guy just said to my dad, "There's a whole generation of kids that we're losing to the 'world'."

  If they just didn't abuse the parental right, more kids would grow up stable and secure, instead of gasping their youth away.

  ash
• 

  Pleasuredome

  i dated a few worldly girls on the quiet. they turned out to be much nicer than any jw girl i ever met. the trouble was keeping it quiet and not beeing seen with them. i never met any jw girl who i felt was worth having a relationship with. too wierd or too ugly.
• 

  SixofNine

  Interesting thought Ashi. I'm not sure where you get your theory about JW males being more likely to "handle" themselves than JW girls.

  The practice was denounced equally w/o reference to gender, as I recall. Interestingly though, at one time the WT actually advocated women "handling" themselves, in an article (or paragraph, not sure which) specific to females. In doing so, they were copying the medical wisdom of the day, or actually of the previous era, which held that many of womens emotional troubles came from pent up "needs", which needs needed releasing .

  This little gem can be found in the article that compares women to cows, as I remember.

  Edited by - SixofNine on 19 January 2003 13:46:15
• 

  refiners fire

  Yes the fairness of the faithful sisters with their cooking skills and minimal jewellery and makeup may be indisputable, but the alure of the painted , drunken, debased women of the world is irresistible. If the Israelite males couldnt resist the women of the assyrians or midianites, or whatever they were, Im sure God is expecting the worst from us.
• 

  Scarlet

  I'm a girl and I dated a Wordly guy when I was in.
• 

  Realist

  question....how bad is it for a JW girl to have a worldly boyfriend? is that a reason to be disfellowshipped?
• 

  ashitaka

  Well, I think that elders would be quick to say she was having sex with him or her, if they found out, whether it was true or not, especially if they were gunning for someone. Normally, it just marks them.

  I remember a sweet but profoundly ugly girl who met a handsome man who loved her (she couldn't find one in the hall). She ended up marrying the guy, and no spoke to her ever again. Still, I heard that she was happy, which is more than I could say about her when she was a witness.

  I'm not sure where you get your theory about JW males being more likely to "handle" themselves than JW girls. I'm not sure where you get your theory about JW males being more likely to "handle" themselves than JW girls.

  I was just thinking...in my old congo, what would have been worse, some guy confessing masturbation or some girl getting caught with a huge vibrator, found in her drawer by family somehow (which happened). If I remember right, the girl was almost brought before a JC, and of course, the story was spread around the congo before long.

  Just what I remember.

  ash
• 

  YellowLab

  I dated a "worldly" girl while I was a JW. Now I've been married to her for almost 8 years.

  Can't say the same for my brother, though. He's 36, never been married, never had a girlfriend, and is still a virgin. (Now THAT is pretty rare, and strange too). He's still holding out for that perfect JW girl to sweep him off his feet. Too bad the JW girls get married at 19!!

  If he only knew what he's missing...

  YellowLab
• 

  bowels

  I dated several worldly girls (quietly) and then ended up getting married to one a year and a half ago. The JW girls I knew were often very sweet and submissive but I felt I wasn't getting anything back emotionally. I felt they all too often expected me to "do" the thinking on things instead of being a real partner. I was looking for someone that I felt was on my level and could openly discuss issues and provide real feedback instead of a "whatever you think, dear" type of person. She is well educated and extremely intelligent and I can truly respect her for that.
• 

  NeonMadman

  I never actually dated a worldly girl while I was a JW. On two occasions, I "weakened" enough to ask a worldly girl for a date, but got shot down both times. On the other end of that, though, there were several times that worldly girls came on to me, but I was "strong" and resisted. If only I had known then what I know now...

  There was a JW girl that I was crazy about for a few years when I first got into the org. She would never agree to go out with me. I assumed it was because she just didn't find me attractive. Eventually, however, she got disfellowshipped and married a worldly guy. After that, I had to wonder whether she wouldn't go out with me because she didn't like me "that way," or because she simply didn't want to get trapped into a JW marriage (as I later did).