New Medications

by WildTurkey 1 Replies latest social humour

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  WildTurkey

  New Medications Advances in science have lead to new medicines that make the lives of women around the world a little better... DamitolTake 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 hours. St. Mom's WortPlant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours. Empty NestrogenHighly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out. Peptobimbo Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting. DumerolWhen taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low I.Q. causing enjoyment of country western music. FlipitorIncreases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers. AntiboyoticsWhen administered to teenage girls, is highly effective in improving grades, freeing up phone lines, and reducing money spent on make-up. MenicillinPotent antiboyotic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person... can we get naked now?" Buyagra Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending spree. Extra Strength Buy-One-allWhen combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy so severe the victim may even come home with a Donny Osmond CD or a book by Dr. Laura. JackAsspirinRelieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number. AntitalksidentA spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers. SexcedrinMore effective than Excedrin in treating the, "Not now, dear, I have a headache," syndrome. Ragamat When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as ragging at him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.

  Advances in science have lead to new medicines that make the lives of women around the world a little better... DamitolTake 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 hours. St. Mom's WortPlant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours. Empty NestrogenHighly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out. Peptobimbo Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting. DumerolWhen taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low I.Q. causing enjoyment of country western music. FlipitorIncreases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers. AntiboyoticsWhen administered to teenage girls, is highly effective in improving grades, freeing up phone lines, and reducing money spent on make-up. MenicillinPotent antiboyotic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person... can we get naked now?" Buyagra Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending spree. Extra Strength Buy-One-allWhen combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy so severe the victim may even come home with a Donny Osmond CD or a book by Dr. Laura. JackAsspirinRelieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number. AntitalksidentA spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers. SexcedrinMore effective than Excedrin in treating the, "Not now, dear, I have a headache," syndrome. Ragamat When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as ragging at him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.
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  Southland

  Funny - I guess we men don't need any medications! :)