Putting Something Back Into Society Now You're Out

by Englishman 9 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Englishman

  I saw the film "Pay it forward" some weeks ago. Now, whilst most of us stoical Brits will snort somewhat at the emotional hokum, nonetheless the movie featured many salient points, not least the theory that humankind needs to put something back into society if it is to retain it's own sense of worth.

  As it happens, I agree with that theory. Also, since leaving the JW's, I find that I have much more concern for the welfare of my fellow man than I used to have. It comes much more naturally to me to want to assist others than it ever did when such assistance was limited to just those of the same religious persuasion.

  Plus, it's such a natural instinct now. At one time, someone experiencing misfortune was somehow seen as proving a point.

  So, I was wondering, now that you're free of religious obligations, do you find that you want to put something back into society? If so, where do you think that such energies should be directed?

  Englishman.
• 

  Duncan

  Hi Mike

  (Glad to hear your family's all back together, by the way.)

  Excellent point you raise, about putting something back. For me, I'm afraid that I can't really point to any particular charitable work or praiseworthy effort. I give a bit when the poppy people come around the office, or I give the kids a pound to get a sticker off the lady collecting for Guide Dogs outside our local papershop, but that's about it, really.

  In a couple of areas of life, I really overcompensate for my previous JW lifestyle, though.

  Christmas: I think I've said before, we really go to town in our house. I encourage the festivities in a big way at the office too. One of the office traditions we have here ( I kind of started and sponsored it) is the annual Christmas Bran Tub. In a Bran Tub, everyone draws someone else's name out of a hat, and has to buy that person a Chistmas present, anonymously. That way, everyone in the company gets a present, "from your friends" . They all get put under the Company Christmas Tree. On Christmas Eve (or last working day) our Financial Director - exhibitionist fat head that he is - dresses up as Santa and gives out the presents. It's a hoot.

  Of course, you already know that the Finance Director is me.

  Secondly, I'm red-hot in encouraging people to give blood. The Blood Transfusion people come around work every now and again on Donation Drives, and I do all I can to set an example and get as many along to it as I can.

  Both these things, are, I sure, my way of trying to make amends for being the fully paid-up, card-carrying arsehole I was when I was a Dub.

  Duncan. ("If I'm STILL an arsehole, at least I'm not a DUB arsehole!")
• 

  scotsman

  This is something I think about quite a lot.

  I've been completely out of the borg for 10 months and don't want to rush off into some other cult but plan, by the time I've finished university in 18 months, to work in the voluntary sector. As much of my JW life was focused around helping people, however misguidedly, I think I'd be inclined to continue that. I have a friend that's a policy developer for Women's Aid and she's fortunate enough to be in a postion to affect government policies that can make real differences to people's lives. She's pretty amazing.

  A lot of ex-witnesses I know have retrained as psychologists or other medical therapists. Thier own inclination and life experience has shaped their choices.
• 

  LyinEyes

  Wonderful points here , Englishman.

  Since I have been out of JW, I have never felt so much for my neighbors , friends and strangers.

  I think I understand so much more what being really Christlike is all about, or at least trying to be.

  I am so much more open now, even revealing my inner feelings to others , just for that human connection. And just by talking to them, even strangers, or especially just listening with out judgement , it helps us all to make it thru another day.

  I find myself listen to people more, really hearing what they have to say, without having to think of what I am supposed to say, as I did as a witness. You know... find that hole in the conversation to speak of the New Paradise Earth, and how you too can learn how you can be there, by reading this mag..yadda yadda puke!!!!!!

  I am really busy with trying to raise my 3 children to be productive members of society, it takes up alot of my time. But I would like to do some charity work if I had time. Mainly I would love to go to the big hospital , that is about an hour away, and sit with some of the children there who have no one at all to hold their hand.

  Back when my baby had his surgery, I never left his side, I even slept in his hospital crib with him, bars up too. But there was a boy there about 10 yrs old, his grandmother was old and she was raising him. She couldnt get a taxi to get there to stay with him because it was so expensive and she was really old. His mom was no where to be found.

  My little son fell asleep and I was getting something to drink and I heard that boy in the other bed whimpering. I asked him what was wrong , he said he was so tired, and scared and couldnt sleep. Before I could think of something to say or do for him,,,,,,,,,,,,he asked me "Will you just hold my hand?" I almost broke down right there, but smiled and started talking to him,,,,,, in a few minutes ,I am not kidding, he was fast asleep.

  That boy will never know that I think of him often , wondering how his life is now. I made a connection with him, I wonder if he remembers me?

  I truly believe that if we do good for others, we will receive it back, even if we don't expect it, there is someone on the other side waiting to take their turnto "Pay It Forward".
• 

  cruzanheart

  Yes. This Christmas season we made a point to contribute to needy families, homeless shelters, etc., and I'd like to try to do something specific each month to help contribute to people's wellbeing. After all, the food banks and homeless shelters need food all year round, not just at holiday time. It feels good - I like reaching out in a specific, material or emotional way to people instead of the vague "well, we're giving them the hope of everlasting life" malarky. I think it teaches the children empathy too.

  Nina
• 

  talley

  I have to agree with all of the previous posters. I have felt the same thing myself and find that we donate much more to charity than when I was 'active'. For myself, I have for several years volunteered time and labor at my local public library. It's not much, but it is what I know from working at a university library in the past and it is what I can do physically. So at least I feel I am contributing something to my little part of the world.
• 

  Sargon

  E-man, if you're looking for a good charity, just write your cheques out to me... I'll make sure it's put to good use.
• 

  Sara Annie

  With all of the selective verse touting done by JWs on every issue from sideburn length to oral sex, it never ceases to amaze me that they fail to put into practice the words of Matthew 25:40 (which, in my humble opinion, encapsulate one of the primary attributes of a Christian).

  "Whatsoever you do to the least of my brothers, that you do unto me."

  It doesn't get much simpler than that, folks. If you can look around you and see the pain and suffering of the least among you, and do nothing, you have failed. Now that you are free of the organization that told you that the "brothers" Jesus spoke of were only your fellow JWs, you know better. And if you know better, and still do nothing, then there is no one to blame but yourself.

  Caring for your fellow man and contributing to society does not need to involve great sums of money or grandiose, complicated gestures, and doesn't need to result in recognition of the deed. Quietly contribute financially to causes you believe in. Stop and hold the door for the man with the walker 20 feet behind you, or the woman trying to wrangle two toddlers with a baby on her hip. Take 15 minutes to hold the scared little boy's hand so he can go to sleep. Help the man who's grocery bag has given way pick up the cans rolling all over the parking lot. Take your paperback books to the nursing home, buy any kind of beverage children sell at stands in their driveways (whether you drink it or not is totally up to you!), educate yourself about world events so that when you give your opinion on them it will be recognized as informed even if you are not agreed with. There are thousands of ways to "do something productive" for society. Start with just one, and go from there. Just as importantly, remember to be grateful and acknowledge when someone has made your life even a little bit easier.

  My parents gave me one of the greatest gifts by quietly and consistently doing good in the world, contributing money and time and talent to so many people and causes and letting me watch them do it. In raising my children I want to give them the same gift.

  *puts 2 cents on the table and walks out*
• 

  Englishman

  Sara Annie,

  You're absolutely right. There's no way I could make grandiose gestures and give people money. A big hug and smile can be enough to help anyone to see a reason to live.

  Englishman.
• 

  Big Tex

  I find that I have much more concern for the welfare of my fellow man than I used to have

  It's funny you bring this topic up. It's something I've been discussing with my woman, and a few other friends lately. I too have been much more concerned about the welfare of others. I'm not sure why exactly. Maybe because I don't believe Armageddon is imminent, or that I have "the truth" and no one else does. I don't know. But I do know it feels better more Christian, if you will, to feel genuine empathy and concern for other people. I don't think it makes me a better person, perhaps only a little more aware is all.