Im just a boy disfellowship me

elumn8

My babbygirl she was only 10 years older than I was and everyone looked at us weird... although I thought we just might have a chance at a great relationship... everyone hated her... said you don't know what you want son... and said I was only a boy. How is it when I'm looking to get married I don't get encouraged... in fact I'm just not ready at all they tell me. and to make this relationship work she moved 1000 miles here just to see me and everyone says nooo way is it going to work but although I was skeptical I knew we were the perfict match and although noone seemed to care or help when looking for some good possitive advise I decided to forget them all and we have lived a wonderful life for almost a year now.... dissfellowshipped for talking with a girl when I didn't have a full time job... so we moved intogether and got dissfellowshiped because nobody wanted to help us get a good start...

any advice?

Sentinel

Hey,

Are you happy? Is your wife happy?

Then, that's all that counts. I am nearly ten years older than my hubby and he has never had a problem with numbers. It's what's inside the heart that counts!

Go forth and be happy!!

cruzanheart

I robbed the cradle too - Big Tex is almost 7 years younger than I, but we're coming up on our 20th anniversary so I'd say we're doing okay!

Remember, it's YOUR happiness that counts, not the naysayers'.

Best wishes,

Nina

truthseeker1

First year is always the hardest. Congratz on a happy marriage. The more people push and tell you you can't something, the stronger you fight for it.

They probably wanted to make you a MS or use you more before they let you go into marriage. They are just mad they can't control your life.

Shutterbug

Every year on your anniversary, send the nay sayers a card telling them how great you are doing, and asking them what you did wrong . Bug

dmouse

Welcome elumn8, (and your friend 'fruitcake')

My wife is four years older than me, we've been married for 18 years. The age difference was never a problem but the fact that she was a JW and I left was.

Hope you work things out, best of luck,

dmouse

Xander

My wife is eight years older than I. We've been married 5 years now, and certainly have had our share of problems, but I think, overall, we are doing quite well.

It's funny, for an org that teaches being good members is the ONLY way to a happy marriage...well...it would be truthful to say that 80% of the tension in our marriage went away when we stopped having to abide by their rules and could make our own that worked for us (roughly 2 years now).

The remaining 20% is mostly all financial issues, which wouldn't be nearly as much of a problem if I DID have a better job. You know, the kind of job you could get if you were allowed to go to a real college? With the scholarship you turned down? Cause you were a good JW?

Oh, n/m.

Yeah, got out of there and really, REALLY, put it behind you. I mean, REALLY. Treat EVERYTHING they told you as a lie, and re-evaluate for yourself from scratch what you want to believe and not believe. I mean *EVERYTHING*. Your goals, sexuality, spirituality, how you live your day to day life, what is REALLY important, etc. (Having a beautiful park nearby will help a lot with this. Spend a lot of time sitting, thinking, and talking. For every belief you have, ask yourself WHY you have it, and if is worth keeping.)

You'll be surprised how much 'baggage' from being a JW keeps popping up from time to time, but, if you put it behind, you'll be a LOT happier.

Xander

Incidently, as an aside, when the wife and I were dating, I was only 17, so we got the wringer for it big-time. She had a lot of friends in our cong who stopped talking with her, we stopped getting invited over for witness gatherings, etc.

While we were never 'officially' disfellowshipped (at all, actually, as far as the cong knows, we're just really, REALLY inactive ), we were effectively so. It was so bad, the wife could not take it any more, and we ended up moving congregations. Didn't help any - the cong only 'love bombs' new members when they are STUDYING. If you are already baptized, when moving to a new cong, you're expected to just snap right in place, I guess.

We didn't, and that's what finally made her lose interest. She got a REAL dose of what their version of 'christian love' is like, 3 times in a row (the first was when her wordly grandma was dying, and she was the sole caretaker because her entire family - still in the area - were too busy going to meetings and such to help. That the congregation thus was friendlier to them, had them over for gatherings more, and helped them more than my wife as she missed meetings caring for her dying grandma, made her a little bitter. I think probably her being counselled for missing too many meetings just before her grandma actually died was a real slap in the face.)

Then, of course, what you are seeing here. The effective (or, in your case, actual) DFing for picking the 'wrong' mate. And, finally, not being able to be accepted anywhere.

Yeah, REAL 'christian love' these guys have. Given you believe the bible, how did Jesus say you'd recognize his followers? By the amount of time converting others? By the number of talks you give? By the sheer volumes of prophecies made in his name?

How did he say you'd recognize them?

Kenneson

Love knows no bounds, including age. That you've been with your wife for about a year shows you are off to a good start. Keep on loving her. And prove all those who didn't approve wrong! Good for you!

SheilaM

Age is not the determining factor Thunder Rider was told we wouldn't last a year, or five or seven well it will be 19 on April 13 and to all those that told us we couldn't make it,

THANK YOUreally I thank you because of your ignorance and meaness when ever I wanted to give it up I thought of you and felt I WOULD BE DAMNED before I would let them be right. I am a stubborn lil varmit and that was my sitcking point that I would never let them smugley say see we were right so NAH NAH NA NA NAH

edited for putting 18 instead of 19 years

Edited by - SheilaM on 27 January 2003 18:46:38

Im just a boy disfellowship me

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