Life after the Watchtower

by YellowLab 2 Replies latest jw experiences

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  YellowLab

  I was just reflecting today on how wonderful it is to be freed from the Watchtower way of thinking. No more feelings of not being good enough and pressure to do more. No more boring meetings to go to week after week. Being able to have a clean conscience and use ALL your thinking faculties. Not having to second guess everything you think or say in fear of you being labeled as "untheocratic". Being able to celebrate my children and never having to read "My Book of Bible Stories" to them or pull them out of school because of holidays, birthdays, etc. And no more field service in the bitter cold and getting doors slammed in your face.

  Starting over is probably the best thing that has ever happened to me. For the first time in my life I have better confidence and self-esteem, without the guilt and shame that hung over my head for so long. I find it not so hard anymore to stand up for myself and voice my opinions. Something I never was able to do before. Leaving has truly allowed me to heal. And while the rank & file continue to slave away for their salvation each month, I have found inner peace and wisdom. I credit Ray Franz's books, Freeminds, and this forum for truly making my mind over.

  Thanks for all of your support, it has really changed my life!!

  YellowLab

  Edited by - YellowLab on 29 January 2003 15:45:37
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  onacruse

  YellowLab, it's almost like an avalanche, eh? The repressed thoughts and feelings, the self-doubt and guilt: gone almost in a flash, like a slave just escaped from the chains and running down the open road for the first time in his life.

  The freedom we were meant to have.

  Like you, I found that freedom through this forum.

  Craig
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  RubaDub

  Even for those of us in the organization, it is so much more refreshing to take a more objective view of life without the blinders on.

  I particularly notice it around my family. They are in the New York and New England area, I live in the Southeast. When I visit now, I notice how depressing they really are. The constant "look how terrible things are in the world" thing really gets old. And always looking at the bad side of things really gets depressing.

  I especially don't miss feeling that sick sense of glee when I read or see a major tragedy in the world. Now I tend to think more of how the affected people can be helped than the previous " well, it's just a part of Satan's system" logic.

  *****Rub a Dub