I gave my best friend Crisis Of Conscience two weeks ago and she said she probably won't read it. I hardly have had any contact over the past month because I was fired from where we work. With every day that passes I worry more and more. That damn book is my only hope of opening her eyes. The more I learn about what she's involved with, the more desperate I become. I watched the cbc program about child abuse and had nightmares about it. It's agonizing to know what I know and not be able to share It with her. I try to be patient and " wait it out", but It is becoming very hard. I know to much to stop trying. All she has to do is open that book. What do I do now?, wait?
What Now?
by mackey 9 Replies latest jw friends
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LB
Yes wait. You can't push anyone into giving something up regardless of how much good you are certain you are doing. They'll dig their heels in deeper.
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Buster
go get your book back - your friend is supposed to destroy that apostate material.
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archangel01
Did you tell her what cha to read first.Just tell her to flip through it.Go see her and use the book like a bible study.
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Gig
I can't believe this, I feel EXACTLY as you do...and have considered giving my friend a copy of C of C thinking that may be my best chance, and a way to communicate without our personalities getting in the way.
"It's agonizing to know what I know and not be able to share it with her." EXACTLY
As others are suggesting, patience my friend. I KNOW how difficult it is to think you might be their only chance, the only one fighting for them, but patience (maintaining your loving expressions and obvious concern WITHOUT the pressure that conditional love places) sometimes is our best tool... at times our only one.
If you're a christian, that would help significantly... she would be able to consider that there might just be something better out there. My thinking is that since she is DETERMINED to follow God, how seriously could she consider a life without God. I've asked my friend this question..." Do you honestly believe that anyone who ever left the WTS left God? Why isn't it a possibility that they left because it was the WTS that wasn't following God...as their history plainly shows? Just because the WTS doesn't offer that as an answer doesn't mean that it isn't possible. My friend has been willing to admit that she doesn't' believe that ONLY JW's are saved, it was effective to alert her that that's exactly what the WTS teaches...once you get past the intro/indoctrination.
I gotta tell you, because you took the words right out of my mouth (my mouthpiece?!) let's talk more...we seem to be in the identical place. (one exception-I never worked with her)
E-mail me if you want. Talking about it with someone who's there or been there sure helps with the patience thing. I expect you'll get lots of responses to this thread, your heart is in the right place.
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Liberty
Your friend, like most JWs, must have some inkling of natural doubt/curiousity before they will even look at an alternate viewpoint. A new convert will be the least likely to have any doubts yet because they have not had a chance to fully experience the loveless control exercised by the Watch Tower Society and all their double talk. It helps too if the person is naturally an independant thinker so that, after the love bombing and doctrinal euphoria wears off, they will begin to see the true shallow nature of the Watch Tower philosophy and their hypocracy. You are in for a very difficult task and, for now anyway, maintaining your friendship is your best hope for eventually opening your friends eyes to the truth about the "Truth".
Edited by - Liberty on 6 February 2003 14:54:53
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No Apologies
Mackey,
I will chime in only to agree with what others have said. I too have been trying to share what I have learned with a close family member, only to be rebuffed. No amount of pleading, arguing, begging, will have an impact on another person until they are ready to open their mind to an alternative point of view. You could have signed confessions from the Governing Body with photos, that for decades they have ritually abused children while on gambling trips to Las Vegas, using funds from the contributions to the worldwide work to pay hookers and buy Havana cigars while killing small kittens, and this person will dismiss it.
You need to take care of yourself, and be there when your friend does start asking questions.
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Liberty
Hi No Apologies,
Your examples of what would be needed to get a hard core JW to doubt was cracking me up, especially the old fart GB killing kittens. I think you are right that even then we'd get the tired old, "they're only imperfect men but it still is Jehovah's Organization" line.
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xray
Mackey,
Congratulations. You've done your friend a good service in getting her to accept the book. If she is your friend she will probably return it rather than destroy it. Now you need to read between the lines.
She's been programmed to believe it's very sinful to read it or even possess it. If found out this could result in disfellowshiping which is just like ex-communication in the Catholic Church - like being put on spiritual death row. Even worse, as JW family and friends will shun her too. So the book has to be read secretly - that is why she told you she would "probably not read it", and you may never know if she has or not, if she remains a JW.
My conclusion therefore is that she is reading it, or at least thinking of it. I'd just leave her alone to go down that path. Any pushing by you may reduce the chance of her reading it, so be very gentle.
Regards, Xray
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No Apologies
Liberty,
You liked that? thanks! And you are absolutely right about what their response would be. It's like hitting a brick wall. It's God organization, he'll take care of things in his own due time. I had one elder tell me that God allows bad things to happen in the organization to test us. How sick is that? And yet at one time, most of here accepted and agreed with that kind of logic.