"I don`t hate the witnesses BUT......

Sparks

Hi Gang, I took my new girl-friend last night to a country club for a quiet drink and dinner.
It was a good oppertunity to really get to know her.After an hour or so, our conversation went off
the mundane Sex In The City type of conversation :( she`s into the hot candle wax and the sniffin $bills
thing zzzzz Snore...) and into the more personal and philosophical....when I happened to mention
that I had just dumped the JW religion.( she thought that was histerical..;I still can`t see the joke!?)
I didn`t really want to get into religion or politics, as they are both Tabo and passion-killer subjects,
so tried to return to the Sex In The City type conversation wondering if she ever tried the Van de Graaff
thing, being a collage student. But she was like a dog with a bone, she just wouldn`t get off the subject
of me being an ex-JW. So I thought I`d twist the conversation a little to suit my purposes, and told her
the witnesses are not like some religions doing really prevy things with holes in sheets etc...{ ask Ed for
the kinky details}but she would have none of it. So I just kept toppin-up her wine glass and let her rant
on for half an hour without saying any-thing.She REALLY had a bee in her bonnet about the witnesses..
God knows what her pulse and heart rate shot up to, she we really giving it some Wellie, her breasts were
heaving,her face was bright red and she was covered in perspiration..{ Obviously like any Guy, I thought-
stuff the hot wax and Van de Graaff, I `ll just whisper the trigger words to her at the appropiate moment-
..ie.." what do you think of the JWs??").Because I`m an English gentleman,I`m not going divulge what
happend when I whispered the trigger word.
As I`ve been laying here all day in bed recovering from last night, I`ve been thinking of what my girl friend
was saying last night.And can`t help noticing that she started each and EVERY new verbal onslaught or
attack with the same sentance. Which was; " I don`t hate the witnesses BUT.... ". So I thought, because
you guys are so good at filling in the spaces on these posts, I`d leave you to guess what followed -
" I don`t hate the witnesses BUT......

thewiz

just give those blue balls a gentle cuddle, and forget it.

you may have been talking to my sisters. they do pretty much the same thing. is she/they in england now? they/she wants to F#$% half the population or she/they acts like it anyway. knows a guy for 5 minutes and she/they want to get into bed with him. i quit reading the stories in penthouse half of them are probably about my sisters

i do to sometimes... uhhh, that is...uhhh rant about the jdubs, even though i guess i am still technically one myself. went of on a tangent didn't i? oh well.

Sparks

thewiz So sorry you don`t understand the English crazy sense of humour, which is often 95% exaggeration. I can`t understand all you are trying to say...Are you sure your not 100% JW ...you seem to make as much sense as one to me!

Golden Girl

Sparks...about your "Story"..all I can say is.."In Your Dreams!".and "You Wish!"..

Snoozy...

siegswife

Golden Girl, I know I don't know you, but you are an inspriration. I feel so bad that you've lost your love...how can anyone know how to console you? You shine, lady. Believe that because it's true.

I'm sorry. xxxooo Lea

Golden Girl

Thank you so much!..All I can say is it is hard to cry if you have a smile!...When I cry I feel like my heart is breaking...so I try to smile and laugh a little more each day !..Sometimes it works!...I know it takes time for the pain to subside. I am just waiting!..And I love this board..people have been so nice to me here!...You will never know how much you all are helping me get through all this...Believe me..I get a lot more than I give!....

Your friend!..Golden Girl...aka..Snoozy..

Sparks

It was obviously a HUGE misstake to use a name most people can`t relate to, namely the Van de Graaff.Which is a hand or motor driven static electricity generator developing up to 500,000volts !!!These genorators can be found in most science museums and Universities.Any-one knowing this would have realized INSTANTLY that I was joking, and if not by that then by the sniffing $ bills.Over here in England, the sense of humor is either very dry or exaggerated to the point of being crazy.You may have heard of our beloved Spike Milligan for example.If you read ANY of my posts, you will see I ALWAYS mix this typy of humor in my stories.My last Tread was called Some Butt-clenching JW quotes, and a long Thread called Are congregations all the same?. I appologize for also using a type of private joke from other Threads { Hole in sheet }.As I said before, 95% of British humor is exaggeration.However as with all my threads, the basic story is true.In the club I told my new girlfriend my favourite T.V series is Ally McBeal, and she said hers was Sex In The City.When I told her I was an ex-JW she did go on for at least ten minutes,starting each new thought with " I don`t hate the witnesses BUT..." Again I apologize for not making it more plainly obvious I was joking while leading up to the moral of the story.I know many people do appreacate my exaggerated sence of humor from the E-mails and reply posts I`ve recieved.

Sparks & Fiona

thewiz

Sparks

who doesn't know what a Van de Graff generator is? see http://www.mos.org/sln/toe/history.html

Go to the Boston Museum of science if you ever visit MA, USA. they got a generator setup there 30-40ft 9-12 meters high to u

if you are in England shouldn't the word be "humour?"

i wasn't exaggerating my sisters though, they do get into bed with guys they have only known for 5 minutes

it's all good

jam

Here we go......

"I don`t hate the witnesses BUT......

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