Well the inevitable has happened... my mother now knows without a shadow of a doubt that I no longer attend the KH, and that the 'close' sister that I had spoken to about the above, is heartbroken (aaahhhh) that I have made such a momentous decision (how dare I) without talking to the family first....
Note : I am 42 years old, 4 children, married for 16 years, lived away from my 'home' for 20 years...and the youngest daughter out of four girls, and I am still thought of as being unable to make my own decisions (as Homer would say 'DOH!).
I have with held speaking to my mother for the simple reason that she is very ill, and I did not want to add to her burden, and then be blamed for her death.. She is a strong character, and has raised her family in the 'truth', my dad was not interested in the JW's...but I doubt if I will get any support from him, as he will back my mam, as she is the strong one in the relationship, and heaven help him if he were to disagree with her!!!
Anyway, what would I have done without Mr Nightwarrior, he has been great beyond words, but sadly my mother has decided that he is the one to blame, and (wait for it).... he is part of the 'sweet talking evil slave class'...............
When my mother put this to my yesterday on the telephone I politely put the phone down on her... how dare she! (she has not rang back)
Before this finger pointing though, (she would not let me get a word in edge ways,) and she was put out by the facts that I had pointed out to my sister on Thursday evening, regarding, among other things, the situation in Malawi, dates, UN participation, child abuse, printing organisation, regarding the f&d slave as mediator.... and so on... she mentioned that all these things (?) had been going on since 1919, well I think she is suffering from senile dementia....
Don't ask why 1919... when my mother gets going she is typical of many JWs - foot in the door syndrome.. and she will not allow you an opinion, but her own, and she is not interested in anything you have to say.. no matter what the subject is..
I told Nightwarrior that this is what would happen, and as to why I put off telling her (along with the illness) but now it has happened, I am pleased... she also told me that how can I expect my prayers to be answered, if I am not relying on the faithful and discreet slave!! This is all so frustrating...
But at the same time, I am relieved, no doubt, she think things over, as I have always thought my mother to be an itelligent woman, but then alot of JWs have tunnel vision..... it is sad, that my neice will have been warned off from speaking to me, as she would always call me from work, but she is the daughter of my 'close' sister, and she wants to be a pioneer, and her brother wants to go to Bethel, so I will be deemed bad association..... but I know that I will be able to live with this.........reality has now come home to roost, and I feel that living in reality is rather better than waiting for the inevitable to happen, because now I do not have to be wary of the things that I speak about, and If my 'family' no longer wish to 'associate' well that is what I call 'perogative'.
Oh well, now that I have got that off my chest, I feel better....
Actually I felt okay before, but I am glad that I writing this down to 'real friends' who will read, and give comment. I know that many of you have been through much much worse, but we can all help each other...
One thing I will say though, is that without my better half Mr Nightwarrior, I would have been lost, and I love him loads, he has kept me going, and made me laugh through the tears, and my kids have been marvellous, as I was in danger of them sueing me if I kept them at the meetings LOL.. and also to you lot....YOU ARE ALL TERRIFIC!!!!!!!!!!
Lots of love
MRS Nightwarrior (oh to use my own name would be great)