New Blog - Divorce has been filed from JW husband!

by madisoncembre 9 Replies latest jw experiences

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  madisoncembre

  The divorce from the JW husband has been filed (finally!). Here are my musings on the subject in short form:

  Still feel a bit sad about the entire thing. The effect on my life and particularly that of the girls.

  Not looking forward to the long battle, and we have yet to hear his response which I am expecting will be a long one since I have alleged abuse.

  My parents have invited me back to live with them for the duration of the divorce. Old "come back to Jehovah!" trick I am not falling for.

  Gossip in the KH has been going round and round. But I am the one who is not going to meetings, so I must be the bad one.

  My estranged husband has told my daughter he will likely re-marry.

  My thoughts on the entire thing, in no particular order.

  The Dog Days of Divorce (Yes, it was filed!) / Madison's Blog | The Lowdown with Madison (webador.com)

  Madison.
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  Diogenesister

  I feel for you Madison. Were you ever a professional writer? You certainly have a writer's flair. Either way it must be cathartic, your blog. I hope you maintain it - to look back on one day and see just how far you've travelled. But more especially so that your girls will have a window into their mothers inner life, during this difficult time. Perhaps when they are young women with children of their own themselves?

  I really regret not maintaining my own (well, it was a diary back then, not a blog)for my own children.
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  TonusOH

  madisoncembre: My estranged husband has told my daughter he will likely re-marry.

  Do they allow that? I was under the impression that remarriage is only okay if adultery has been proven.
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  Phizzy

  Well done Madison ! may you find happiness and fulfillment in your future life ! I hope the Divorce process goes as smoothly as possible. And I know it will be so difficult for your girls, but they have a wonderful mother's love to see them through.
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  madisoncembre

  Diogensister:

  Were you ever a professional writer? You certainly have a writer's flair. Either way it must be cathartic, your blog.

  No, but thank you for the compliment. I just put down what I am thinking at the time, and you are right, it is cathartic. If people read it and it helps and/or educates them about JWs and their cover-up of abuse, then all the better. But it's not my primary reason for doing so.

  I really regret not maintaining my own (well, it was a diary back then, not a blog)for my own children.

  I never really thought of it that way, but it's a good way to think. It's a moment in time they can look back at and think to themselves what their mother was going through and what he thought pattern was at the time.
  
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  madisoncembre

  TonusOH:

  Do they allow that? I was under the impression that remarriage is only okay if adultery has been proven.

  In a previous blog, I related my husband's infidelities. So I am guessing he'll be scripturally free to remarry once this is sorted out since he's the adulterer. According to him he's going through the judicial process with the brothers. But his father is an elder so expect a slap on the wrist. Probably will lose his privileges for awhile. Who knows how it works. Works for them, most certainly not us.

  Maybe a disfellowshiping is in order, but just a brief one to make it seem like there are no double standards.
  
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  madisoncembre

  Phizzy:

  I hope the Divorce process goes as smoothly as possible

  I do too! One can hope but there is also the reality. I haven't gotten my ex's response yet in court, so that will probably be something that will tell us where this is headed. I'm keeping my demands reasonable and not demanding the world. My lawyer warned me about that and not look like I am trying to punish him because judges do pick up on those kinds of things.
  
  
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  Foolednomore

  I feel for you ! This I have experienced as well. And that "Return to Jehoeber " stick and the rumors at the hall. An on top of that My Divorce was not Scriptural. But like by the law of the law of land. I Was in a very abusive relationship. I was young too, so we both parted company. But that's not how Watchtower saw it. Because I was Divorced not by Watchtower terms, I was not free to remarry. That's alot of bull.
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  madisoncembre

  Foolednomore:

  But that's not how Watchtower saw it. Because I was Divorced not by Watchtower terms, I was not free to remarry. That's alot of bull.

  Though I am not in this situation, I am hearing a lot about this now that I am out and it seems to be quite a problem. They are using old Hebrew law for a modern time period. Divorce isn't a good thing and a high divorce rate is a sign of societal problems, but it shouldn't be "at fault" either. Some people are just not meant for each other or people change and grow out of relationships. Keeping people in this state only serves to hurt people more. In my case I just couldn't live with him and his lies anymore. We could have just lived separately but he'd never support his own children.
  
  
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  Foolednomore

  Watchtower and Jwism creates alot of social and economic problems for everyone that follows their brand of whiskey.