Ludicrous JW "Logic"

by berylblue 5 Replies latest jw friends

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  berylblue

  Hardly the topic of the week, but I just remembered this one.

  A new sister was complaining to another about the heat, crowd and discomfort of the district assemblies held at the ballpark. The older sister stated that it was a sign of Jehovah's love for his people; he was getting us ready for the horrific trials of Armegeddon.

  When the young sister mentioned this to me, I said, "Well I guess Jehovah doesn't think much of the ones in __________, US. They are sitting in an air conditioned theatre right now."

  She remained silent until I further stated, "And do you really think that -anything- is going to get us ready for Armegeddon?"

  She thought for a moment and said, "I'm going to _________ next year instead".

  Any others?

  Beryl

  Oh, and am I the only one who cringed in despair when it was announced that Jehovah was blessing us with a four day convention next year in stead of a three day one? (To wild applause, I might add.)
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  CoonDawg

  Our convention is always in Huntsville, AL. I'll be dropping my wife and daughter at the site...and then I'll go visit the NASA space museum there. I'll learn alot more that's usefull and beneficial there than what I will from that drivel.

  Coon
• 

  undercover

  A new sister was complaining to another about the heat, crowd and discomfort of the district assemblies held at the ballpark. The older sister stated that it was a sign of Jehovah's love for his people; he was getting us ready for the horrific trials of Armegeddon.

  When we used to complain about the heat or the uncomfortableness of the seats, we were always given the sermon on how faithful the brothers were in the poor countries. Walking for days in the jungle, crossing crocodile infested rivers, through military zones and then upon arriving having to sit on hard wooden benches in the hot jungle sun. And they were thankful. And here we were in air-conditioned cars, traveling less than a couple of hours, on modern highways, staying in state-of-the-art hotels, and we dared complain? Where was the spirit of self-sacrifice? If we were whole-souled dedicated we would not dare complain about the loving provisions. If we were of the complaining type, maybe we should check our dedication and give ourselves an attitude adjustment.
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  Francois

  How right you are. The dubbies have a set of canned logic/responses to fit any situation. That means that you're always wrong and they're alway right.

  They play by the "We Always Win" rules. Then, when they chance upon a situation they can't win using their rules, they play by the "We Can Change the Rules Without Notice" rule book, so that in the end they're always playing by the "We Always Win" rules. Neat of them to think it out like that, ain't it?

  francois
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  ozziepost

  Logic? What logic? There's nothing logical about a cult.

  Try this one: when Dubs hear reports of a disaster, they immediately ask how the local congo/KH fared. But what of the community? If the Dubs were unharmed, they put it down to Jehovah's protection and blessing of His people. And if the Dubs suffered they say that it's a sign of the end of the system!

  Try this one: The R&F are constantly encouraged to be "in the middle of the congregation" meaning to be thoroughly absorbed in its activities. They are told that's the safest place to be. But isn't that illogical? Taken to its natural conclusion, how could everyone be in the middle? By definition, some must be on the fringe. You see, we need the slackos!!!!!!

  There's nothing logical about Dub reasoning!

  Cheers, Ozzie
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  CoonDawg

  They play by the "We Always Win" rules. Then, when they chance upon a situation they can't win using their rules, they play by the "We Can Change the Rules Without Notice" rule book, so that in the end they're always playing by the "We Always Win" rules. Neat of them to think it out like that, ain't it?

  Hey, can they help it? They are only playing by the same rules as their God. Everything is sorted out before you even start. There is no winning...it's a lose-lose. Where's the logic in that? Can you imagine how much Satan feels like a schmuck? Even if he's able to come out on top, he can't. It's God's dance and he's callin' the tune. Maybe next millinium we'll get lucky and have a god that's a little less uptite.

  Coon