Elder at my door last night

by JH 8 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  JH

  I was taking a bath, when the door bell rang. I got out of the bath tub and went close to the window, and saw an elder go back to his car.

  The last visit I had was a few days before christmas, from the CO and his wife, while visiting our congregation. I didn't answer the door, and they went away.

  Usually an elder comes a few days before the memorial to invite me each year. Usually I go to the memorial, and then fade away again right after.

  I do on purpose not to answer the door, because when I wanted their help they didn't care about me, so now I don't care about them.

  I needed their help back in 1992 when I lost my job, and I was out of work. No one helped me find a job, or even asked if all was ok with me. I expected their help and friendship then, but nothing ever happened. I was mad, because when I had a good job back then, I helped everyone in the congregation who needed transportation and I gave lots of money to the poor. I gave over 2000$ in cash to a few in need during the years. I gave my car that was worth about $5000 to a brother who had a family and had no car. I was extremely generous. I was happy to share. I gave even more than that.

  So when I lost my job and I needed help, no one came to my rescue. No one even called or asked if all was ok. Thats when I faded away. I figured out that I was no more good, since I lost my good paying job and was flat broke. I didn't understand why they weren't happy to share with me.

  I spent many years without a job, and no one phoned or came over or offered me a lift to go to the hall, and no one wanted to share work with me in the cleaning business. So many could have helped me, but no one did. The unemployment was at 15% during the 90's here in my town.

  Since then I am mad at them, and didn't go back to the hall, except a couple of times for the memorial.

  I lost all the love for that religion, because of the lack of love they had for me.

  I found a job since, but I don't want to go back to these people.

  In a way, this experience let me see who they really are. They are strangers, nothing more. So now you know why I don't open my door to these strangers.
• 

  Jesika

  I was very young when I left, so I can't relate to your situation as far as giving money or help in that way.

  I just wanted to tell you I am sorry you did so much and they didn't give back. I can relate to that as far as family goes, but I have recently come to the conclusion I don't need them in my life at all.

  Moving on with your life isn't easy all the time, but when you get to the point that you know it is the right thing to do, well, it is like taking a huge weight off of yourself.

  I am glad you found a job, I am still looking for one, and I wish you well.

  Jes
• 

  musky

  JH, Very interesting thoughts on your post. I would like to give you a pat on the back because you seem to be a very giving and generous person. Try not to worry too much about the jerks that people can be. Just remember that you treated them kindly when they needed help. That will come back to you someday. I would not in the least feel compelled to open my door either. I hope things go great for you!
• 

  Blueblades

  JH,The same thing happened to me and my wife.Then the other night one of the eldes stops by and wants to offer us encouragement.I was out,my wife told them nothing has changed since the last time we talked to them,hard times and etc.

  Then the blizzard comes ,and no one ,not one person from the loving elders called to ask if we needed anything.How DISCOURAGING!! BTW.When I was serving I had a snow crew on stand-by to help all those who needed such assistance when bad weather struck.Snow removal ,food,shopping etc.

  It seems to have gone by the wayside since I stopped serving.

  We just stopped by to encourage you,but,we don't want to do any hard labor.We don't want to leave our comfort zone ,except to say these words to you,we just stopped by to encourage you.

  WEEEEE JUSTTT STOPPEDDDD BYY TOOO encourage YOUUUU.

  Blueblades
• 

  wheelwithinwheel

  Years ago I helped an elder renovate his basement so he could rent it out. We worked pretty steady for over 2 months, every spare minute we had. Some time later I had to move and asked the same elder if he could give me a hand that Sat. A.M. His response was to tell me he had to take the group. The funny thing was when we were working on his basement he missed pretty well every Sat. in service.

  This isn't the reason I left but it sure hurt.

  I noticed over time that this attitude shows up often. I guess Jesus saw it too when he talked about corban and everyone begging off. Maybe it's human nature but it sure isn't any better in the J-dubs.
• 

  crinklestein

  Thankless sonsabitches. This was very prevalent in both congregations I had gone to. You start slacking and all they want to do is just mouth the words, "We just want to give you encouragement." But do they actually GIVE you encouragement? No. They just say it. To encourage someone takes actions, not lipservice. You need to do encouraging acts in order to encourage someone. Do they actually think that they are actually encouraging people by "stopping by"? They actually make people feel more guilty because they suggest that you aren't doing good enough. You aren't doing this. You aren't doing that. You NEED to be doing this and that. So we are actually here to tell you that you need to change your ways. You need to do better than you are. And you need to do it now.

  THAT'S what they really mean when they "stop by". Well here's a suggestion: Stop by a cliff and hurl your ass over the edge. :) That is all.
• 

  TR

  Why is it SO HARD for 'hovahs to be generous? There's a few individuals whose nature is to be generous, but that's it. Very few at the KH deem it a priority to to live up to the "Christian" model. What happened to the "new personality"? Constant reminders are had at the meetings, but it's all just lip service.

  If 'hovah's organization REALLY cared about other's spiritual, physical, mental and emotional welfare, they would DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! There are currently NO PROVISIONS OR PROGRAMS to help those in need, in the congregation or out.

  'hovahs DO NOT show love for their fellow man as a rule. It's a "would the brothers approve of this" attitude when it comes to generosity.

  Back when I was a m.s., I started bringing the three neighbor kids to the meetings. It was OK with their mom, because she was a drunk and a crack head, and didn't really care. I thought I was doing the kids some good when an elder told me, "It is up to the parent to bring their own kids". I was dumbfounded! Here I thought I was literally saving these kids, and I was told to quit showing love to them! Well, at least they didn't get brainwashed, but where are those kids now? Jail? Dead? If I could have been encouraged to at least spend some time with those kids, it would have showed them that their ARE parents out there who love their kids. But no, 'elder anal' said no. The problem was, I went along.

  There are so many times thinking back when I was a 'hovah that I should have kicked my own ass.

  TR

  What a hoky religion.

  TR
• 

  YellowLab

  I just had two elders ring my doorbell a few weeks ago. I knew who they were and I refused to answer the door. I'm sure they were following the "loving" advice from the WTS to seek out inactives. Either that or they wanted to talk about the Memorial.

  In winter it's nice because you're indoors when they come. That's why in the summer I always make sure to do yard work in the afternoon and not in the morning!

  YellowLab
• 

  wednesday

  JH,

  i want u to know, that no matter what JWS did or did not do, YOU did the right things. U did what jesus would have done. U gave and helped. I'm sorry they did not return to u, pls don't let this stop u form giving. There are so many way so give and help.

  Once at a very low moment , while billy jack was out of work, i found a check in a drawer that was nearly a year old. Somehow we have survived, without any help from JWS. I now pray directly for help and often it is given.

  I have always said, JWS run off the best people. People like u, JH.