'HOVAHS CAN'T DO NO WRONG!

TR

No matter what happens, 'hovahs can do no wrong.

'hovah numbers go up = 'hovah's blessing

'hovah numbers go down = 'hovah cleanses cong/tests followers

Kingdom Hall missed by hurricane = 'hovah's angels in action

'hovahs witness to gang of bloodthirsty hyenas and make converts = 'hovahs blessing/angels

'hovahs get brutally beaten, raped and killed by bloodthirsty gang of hyenas = 'hovahs stood courageous in face of death

'hovahs go along with wrong doctrine until changed by GB = 'hovahs waiting on 'hovah

'hovahs sell all belongings and go serve where the need is greater = doing all one can for 'hovah(rich spiritual blessings)

'hovahs make stand in workplace, get fired, land new job making a gazillbillion more dollars = 'hovahs blessing for standing firm.

'hovahs give last dollar to GB instead of paying rent/buying food, etc., go on government dole = giving firstfruits to 'hovah

'hovahs shun family/those who disagree with false doctrine = loyalty to 'hovah

press reveals disgusting cover-up on child abuse in cong. = persecuting 'hovahs people

'hovahs lie under oath to secular authorities = theocratic warfare

'hovahs protect child molester in cong. = protecting innocent brother

Add to the list if you like.

TR

Brummie

I dunno whether to scream or laugh loud at this 'Hovahs list...

Excellent post TR

Brummie

SYN

You pretty much covered it all, TR.

Good post.

starScream

'hovahs say 1975 will be the end: man isnt perfect

'hovahs say 1914 will be the: WWI proves 'hovahs is 'hovah's prophet

'hovahs ban vaccinations hundreds die: hundreds proved loyalty to 'hovah

'hovahs lift ban on vaccinations: 'hovah has blessed 'hovahs with new light

micheal

witnesses strongly criticize worldy people = righteous indingnation

worldy person criticizes witnesess = persecution

gumby

So are you saying Jehovah's a ho?

LDH

'hovahs let their children die = Innocents who stood firm on the cover of 'Hovah's Ragazine

'hovahs who don't go to college = 'hovahs recognizing how soon the system will end

'hovahs who go to 'technical school' now that the system hasn't ended = 'hovahs "wisely planning for the future"

'hovahs who lose job to go to assembly = 'hovahs putting spiritual needs first

'hovah who gets a stable job = 'hovah blessing the faithful

'hovah who stocks cigarettes on store shelves = 'hovahs submitting to their employer, a 'worldly authority'

'hovahs not voting = recognizing 'hovah's authority is higher than man's

'hovah who dies from getting a forced blood transfusion = 'hovah who will DEFINITELY be resurrected

'hovah who lives from getting a forced blood transfusion = 'hovah who had no control over the situation and who is innocent and therefore not shunned!

'hovah who refuses a blood transfusion and dies = a SAINTLY 'HOVAH!!!! Will be canonized in the cong.

'hovah who got raped and screamed = innocent 'hovah

'hovah who got raped and failed to scream = slut who probably WANTED it. She is no 'hovah. No 'hovah would ever get raped and not scream. She is definitely an apostate.

'hovah who drives a piece of shit car = 'hovah who is not materialistic

'hovah who drives a nice car = 'hovah who has been blessed

and on and on and on and on and on and on and on.

Lisa

'Hovah THIS!!!! Class

gumby

I give TR and LDH the award for the best ridicule of the most vicious god in the universe

Gumby

LDH

Why thank you, Gumby. There's plenty more sarcasm where that came from.

TR, how you doin'?

Lisa

'HOVAHS CAN'T DO NO WRONG!

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