Starfish,
After years and years of feeling great despair and unhappiness in my life, and covering it over fairly well, like you it began to manifest within me, giving me ulcers, panic attacks, anxiety attacks. I knew I had to do something, but still could not afford to get professional help, except for a couple well-meaning counselors, who "didn't understand". I bought many books of the self-help variety and read and read, but still seemed to be "stuck".
Nearly three years ago, (gosh, has it been that long?) I sought out help again, this time through job benefits, and I was able to get some good help. Eight weeks of therapy with a gentleman who knew all about the JW's. He said that no doubt, this is what was causing me to be in the condition I found myself. Through lots of opening up like never before, we got to the root of it all, and the healing really began.
I highly recommend going to therapy and seeing someone who is familiar with the cult of JW's. This religion had been a part of my life, one way or another affecting me, since I was thirteen. So, you see, it took me a very long time to get that monkey off my back--as I am now nearly 57. Life has improved greatly for me. I wish you the best of success.
