https://youtu.be/tpPmprDXxzw?si=Shh5vKmuzFP6C9_m
So the Watchtower has come out with sn article, study article 2 in their newly released Study Watchtower magazine for 2025 and we see from the start how they keep perpetuating the same old outdated narrative that when it comes to marriages the husband is the one at fault, we'll thats I think when I read paragraph from this article where I man has to work on a whole list of things and not once the wife is instructed to do any of these things, but let's just read together paragraph 14:
A husband who physically or verbally abuses his wife needs to take additional steps to repair his relationship with Jehovah and with his wife. What are these steps? First, he recognizes that he has a serious problem. Nothing is hidden from Jehovah’s sight. (Ps. 44:21; Eccl. 12:14; Heb. 4:13) Second, he stops abusing his wife and changes his behavior. (Prov. 28:13) Third, he apologizes to his wife and to Jehovah and seeks their forgiveness. (Acts 3:19) He should also beg Jehovah for both the desire to change and the help to control his thoughts, speech, and actions. (Ps. 51:10-12; 2 Cor. 10:5; Phil. 2:13) Fourth, he acts in harmony with his prayers by learning to hate all forms of violence and abusive speech. (Ps. 97:10) Fifth, he seeks immediate help from loving shepherds in the congregation. (Jas. 5:14-16) Sixth, he develops a plan that will help him to avoid all such behavior in the future. A husband who views pornography should follow these same steps. Jehovah will bless his efforts to change his behavior. (Ps. 37:5) But it is not enough for a husband to reject dishonorable conduct. He also needs to learn to show honor to his wife. How can he do that?
In this paragraph, the Watchtower seems to take us on a guided tour back in time with its traditional, almost antiquated perspective on marriage, where the husband is tasked with not only mending his mistakes but also constantly appeasing and accommodating his wife's needs. It's as if, in the Watchtower’s ideal marriage, the wife is a delicate, innocent creature, perpetually in need of care, understanding, and endless apologies. Meanwhile, the husband shoulders all the blame for relationship issues and must go through an extensive, almost ritualistic process to redeem himself—complete with a checklist that reads more like a medieval penance guide than modern relationship advice. Let's explore for a moment this skewed portrayal of responsibility in this perspective and highlight Watchtower's outdated gender dynamics that, in 2025, feel like they belong in a dusty old rulebook.
First, let’s unpack the premise: "A husband who physically or verbally abuses his wife needs to take additional steps to repair his relationship with Jehovah and his wife." While it’s undoubtedly a good thing that abusive behavior is condemned, this paragraph places all the responsibility squarely on the husband's shoulders. It implies that men alone are the ones to blame in marital discord, and it is always they who must take the initiative to fix things. There's no recognition of the complexities of modern relationships, where accountability often falls on both partners and where a successful marriage is typically built on mutual respect and shared effort. In 2025, it’s hard to ignore that women, too, play a significant role in the dynamics of a relationship. But here, they are strangely absent from any accountability, cast instead as passive recipients of the husband's actions and behaviors.
Next, let’s take a look at the steps the Watchtower proposes. The husband must first “recognize that he has a serious problem” and remember that “nothing is hidden from Jehovah’s sight.” This is step one in a six-point rehabilitation plan that makes it clear that the husband alone is in the hot seat. It’s almost like a spiritual version of an anger management workshop—just without any actual tools for communication or emotional intelligence that might actually help both partners. The paragraph then tells him to stop abusing his wife, apologize profusely, pray fervently, and reach out to congregation elders. Each step paints the husband as not only the perpetrator but also the sole fixer, while his wife is conveniently positioned as the injured party, free from any need for growth or responsibility herself.
Now, don’t get me wrong—stopping abusive behaviour, apologizing, and seeking help are all positive steps. But the real issue here is the oversimplified and one-sided portrayal of a marital relationship. Abuse in any form is, of course, unacceptable and should be addressed with sincerity and urgency. However, the Watchtower’s insistence on placing the blame entirely on the husband paints an unrealistic picture where the wife is perpetually innocent, vulnerable, and passive. It overlooks the complexity of human relationships, where both partners bring their own flaws, struggles, and, yes, responsibilities to the table. Where’s the guidance for women to reflect on their own behaviour, communicate their needs respectfully, or contribute to the relationship’s health?
Then there’s the statement about pornography, which lumps all husbands who view it into the same category as those who engage in abusive behavior. It’s quite a leap to place both issues under the same "steps to repentance" umbrella. By doing so, the Watchtower equates vastly different behaviors as equally damaging, creating unnecessary shame and guilt. Again, it’s the husband who must grovel and reform himself under the ever-watchful eye of Jehovah and his wife, with no mention of any constructive dialogue between the couple. It’s a dynamic straight out of a bygone era, ignoring the fact that, today, healthy relationships are built on open communication, mutual respect, and shared responsibilities.
The paragraph wraps up by adding that it’s not enough for the husband to just avoid bad behavior; he also “needs to learn to show honor to his wife.” This, of course, is a commendable sentiment, but it further perpetuates the imbalance. He needs to “honor her” with no corresponding mention of the wife honoring her husband, meeting his needs, or working alongside him to cultivate a loving, balanced relationship. The burden to “do better” is placed entirely on him, implying that only the husband has room for improvement, and his wife is, by default, blameless.
In 2025, where most people understand that a successful marriage requires both partners to contribute equally, this approach feels laughably outdated. It's as though the Watchtower is operating on an old-fashioned script, where women are delicate flowers, and men are rough rocks that need endless polishing to be worthy of them. Gone is any mention of mutual accountability, shared emotional labor, or reciprocal support. Instead, men are cast as the sole bearers of responsibility for a marriage’s health, while women float along, seemingly without a care in the world other than waiting for their husbands to step up.
The irony, of course, is that this overly simplistic dynamic does a disservice to both men and women. Men are saddled with an unfair level of blame and responsibility, while women are denied the opportunity to take ownership of their role in the relationship. The paragraph misses the chance to encourage both partners to reflect, grow, and work together to build a harmonious, balanced marriage. Instead, it clings to an outdated model that paints men as perpetual fixers and women as delicate, morally superior beings whose needs must be endlessly met.
In the end, this guidance from the Watchtower might have been relevant decades ago, but in today’s world, it feels out of touch. Marriage is a partnership, not a one-sided project where only one person needs to “do better” or take responsibility. True intimacy and respect are built on mutual accountability, open communication, and a shared commitment to growth. It’s time the Watchtower acknowledged that in a healthy relationship, both partners have room to improve, contribute, and honor each other—equally.
https://www.jw.org/en/library/magazines/watchtower-study-january-2025/Husbands-Honor-Your-Wife/