Snippet from the weekly meeting of the governing body of JW org, September 2015

by Half banana 4 Replies latest social humour

  • Half banana
    Half banana



    Actual in-house accounts (as opposed to the official ones) having been read out

    The chair:

    ...So there we have it Brothers, we’re up shit creek! This is affecting my (expletive) nerves. Even with all our (expletive) assets and income, the bank has emphatically said, “No more credit”. I’m beginning to think that Jehovah has (expletive) forgotten us! What was it that brother Russell said that when the money ran out that would be the time to stop publishing? I really think we should give this some (expletive) serious thought this morning. First off we gotta stop spending money on fancy things like catering and laundry and get rid of the lower orders in Bethel. Next off, stop all construction projects except our own lakeside retirement village upstate. Stuff the British branch just tell ’em no more money and they can make do on what they’ve got. Sell off the fancy translation houses, that’ll bring in some cash.

    If only the brothers would do what we say and (expletive) obey, we wouldn’t be in this fix and they would keep sending in the money. Brothers, just why is it we are in this (expletive) situation?

    Bro GB member: It’s the rank and file not sending in the (expletive) money.

    Other GB member: I reckon it’s because the brothers are beginning to have twigged what we are up to.

    Chair: You know I don’t want any of this to get out but I think we are all coming to the same (expletive) conclusion; “our thing” (cosa nostra in Italian) looks like it‘s had its day here. We can’t keep the end of the world as a credible proposition for forever, the time comes when in this particular business...and God knows it’s a good business... with ‘good’ people...but I think now is the right time to diversify... and get the (expletive) cash into the right accounts before it's too late!



  • The Searcher
    The Searcher
    Would you like to borrow a paddle?
  • Vidiot
    Vidiot

    The Searcher - "Would you like to borrow a paddle?"

    Watchtower, meet Shit Creek.

    Shit Creek, Watchtower.

  • DwainBowman
    DwainBowman

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA It would be fun being a fly on the wall!!!!

  • JWchange
    JWchange

    The following funny clip is from a secret possibly Governing Body meeting sometime during those missing years between 100CE and 1879, when there was a JW presence on Earth but know one knows who they were.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hJQ18S6aag

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