Just a random question?

Riley

Completely unrelated to the wts.

I have a co worker who I use to hang out with his son in high school. He doesn’t remember me. That was 30 years ago. His son was killed in a car accident at the age of 22.

I wonder if it would be inappropriate to mention to him I knew his son along time ago.

I met a girl working at a trade show the other day who had a brother that passed ( different death ) ,I mentioned that I was kind of friends with her brother a long time ago. It kind of upset her and I kind of wish I didn’t say anything.

How does a person act or what do you say in these situations?

no-zombie

Riley you could spend your whole life over-thinking things and end up doing nothing. Or you could take the risk and try to say something encouraging.

For me, I'd say something nice to let them know that their loved ones are still remembered.

surprised2bhere

I like it when people remember my parents now deceased. Even if it is a bit emotional.

Years ago a couple in our congregation lost their only child. I don't know if she was late teens perhaps. A long time after they asked me if I remembered her. But I was probably only a small child at the time. I remembered the name because my mum would say how terribly sad it was. (Thinking back she never said - oh well, she"'ll be resurrected ). In that moment I would have loved to be able to recount some happy interaction with their girl.

Ding

To the girl I would say, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you or cause you pain. Please forgive me."

To your friend whose son died, go ahead and mention that you knew his son years ago. If he is upset or distraught, say something similar.

Diogenesister

Imho you should say something. It's been my experience that people love to have the opportunity to talk with people who knew and remember their loved one. This is especially true if it's been a long time since they passed. I mean your coworker will probably have friends/associates /colleagues/neighbours etc who came in to his life after his son passed and therefore he can't even reminisce with them about his son. You have a bond with him he won't find with just anyone.

Yes, he may get upset....that's natural. But I'm sure having someone that shares precious memories of his son with him will mean the world. Just let him 'take the lead' (lol) in when and how much he'd like to open up to you.

Biahi

You will never regret being kind to someone.

3rdgen

My first child was a son who died in a motorcycle accident at the age of 21. That was 20 years ago.

I can tell you, NOTHING guts a person like losing a child

I know because I have lost my parents, husband, cousins who were closer than siblings, aunts, uncles, and dear friends.

Back when I wasn't being shunned, I ran into a sister who gave me her condolences but then smiled broadly and told me how she loved how funny my son was. Then, she told me a story that backed up her statement. By the time she was finished, we were both laughing out loud!

Nobody else, (Besides hubby) had shared something specific they remembered and loved about my son. I won't forget it as long as I live.

It has been 15 years since our encounter and I remember it like it was yesterday and still smile.

Please do not hesitate to approach this father. You might start by asking how he is doing then explain WHY you remember his son. Feel it out. Chances are he will LOVE to hear anything and everything you enjoyed about his child. If you can tell he's open to it please tell him something funny even if it is a little "Naughty". Old people like to laugh too!