Benny is a big strapping country lad in is late teens. He works on a farm in deepest, darkest Somerset, and he loves it.
You see, Benny absolutely adores agricultural tractors. On the farm where he works he gets plenty of opportunities to drive them too. His bedroom wall is covered with coloured pictures of tractors. David Browns, Massey Fergusons, John Deere's, there isn't a tractor made that Benny hasn't got a picture of.
Well, one day, Benny meets a girl and falls hopelessly in love with her. She likes him too, but is most definitely not impressed with Bennys love of tractors. She isn't going to play second fiddle to any old wheeled Daedong, that's for sure!
So Benny has quite a quandary now. He mulls it over a few pints of Scrumpy and eventually decides that love comes first, he will make the supreme sacrifice, give up his beloved tractors and ask the lady concerned to be his, forever in wedded bliss.
So that night he arranges to meet her in the pub where he intends to tell her of his plans to give up his hobby involving all things tractorial. They sit opposite one another, he with his Scrumpy, she with her Port and Lemon. He waits until he judges that the time is right, and then opens his mouth to tell her of his plans, when....
She bursts into a fit of coughing! Oh Benny cries she, this pub is just too smokey, the air conditioner isn't working, (in a Brit pub?) take me somewhere else, please!
Well, Benny doesn't want her distracted now, not when he's about to propose marriage, and so.....
Benny opens his mouth again, and sucks in the biggest and longest breath imaginable, sucking with it all the smokey air in the pub. Then he rushes outside, exhales with a big WHOOOSH, so that all that's left inside the pub is clean healthy air.
Well, the lady is very impressed, and demands that Benny tell her how he was able to perform such a wonderous feat.
Oh, exclaims Benny, it was really easy. You see................................................................................
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keep going....
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I'm an ex-tractor fan!
Englishman.