Beaten/Abused to prove your faith

by RAYZORBLADE 5 Replies latest jw friends

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  RAYZORBLADE

  I have been wanting to post this topic for some time. To this day, it bothers me.

  Yesterday, Tuesday (March 11) - I listened to Mouthy's testimony on a website (the link was provided). I listened to her story, which was quite fascinating for those of you who have not heard it yet. It's not boring, in fact it's quite moving, funny, sad and well...a wide range of emotions. Besides, I've adopted her as my on-line Gran, so it had a special significance .

  I remember when I was maybe 1 or 2 years into being a JW, a few sisters whom were married to unbelievers, and how that they suffered incredibly at the hands of their unbelieving husbands.

  One sister, she came in to the Kingdom Hall, bruised and eyes were black. I was told her husband beat her for studying with the Jehovah's Witnesses.

  I remember some of the old timers pointing out with great joy how that this was a young sister proving her love to Jehovah and his word.

  For the life of me, I could not wrap my head around that. Here was a sweet petite sister, bruises, black eyes, in physical pain, and all they could do was compliment her. GODDAMN!

  I asked if anyone called the police, which was completely 'out of the question'. Then I think of the 'other' abuse cases up before the WTBTS and then it dawns on me: nothing has changed has it, in nearly 20+ years.

  I still remember that cute little sister, and she was so dedicated. But somewhere along the line, she broke. She left, and I doubt she is a JW today. But I found that you were more likely to get attention and fellowship, if you were beaten to within an inch of your life.

  Loving god? NO

  Loving organization? Hell NO

  To this day, I hated that. Seeing believing spouses, beaten because of their faith.

  (husbands won over without a word) - but don't say anything about the screaming.

  Any thoughts?
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  teenyuck

  I also recall sisters with unbelievers being abused. I don't know if this is unique to this sort of borg or if they (the sisters) had low self esteem and were willing to put up with this-in the name of Jehovah.

  I think there was a martyrdom that existed with these ladies. If they were beaten it showed what good sisters they were. Sister's whose husbands were unbelievers but not beating them were not as intriguing. I don't recall hearing a sister tell people her unbeliever husband was great or even good man. He always was: 1. Abusive (verbal, emotional, mental, physical) 2. Alcoholic 3. Gambler

  I can recall a sister whose husband was a raging alcoholic. He would come home, go to the basement and drink himself silly every night. His daughter was one of the few JW girlfriends I had. I spent the night there quite a few times on Friday or Saturday night.

  The wife/mother was very disapproving of her husband. No matter what he did she was always saying he was a bum, however, since he did not cheat she had no spiritual grounds for divorce....plus, she had never worked and could not support herself or the two kids. The man looked so miserable....he had no happiness in his life and drowned himself in alcohol.

  I think this is a cycle in these types of marriages. The borg comes between them and causes divisions that nothing seems to be able to fix.

  As an aside....the husband I reference above liked to come into the bathroom when I was in the shower. He would not knock, walk in and go to the bathroom!! Then he would pull back the curtain and tell me he was there. I would be standing terrified behind the curtain and hope he would walk out with out peeking. He always peeked. My friend, Kari, said he did this all the time....it was no big deal. It was too me. I was about 14....I told my mother who said just ignore it....when a man had to go, he had to go...no big deal. She said I would be causing division in their family if I told anyone.....

  My mother accused her father of doing the same thing...that is what drives me crazy about my mom...(sorry to get off subject)
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  avishai

  Well, yeah, but there were also several that were beaten by there active, dub, sometimes elder hubbies, & no one did anything about it. My dad was a little different though, one time after giving the public talk in another town, he saw a girl he had grown up w/ sitting in the hall next to here new hubby, beaten black & blue. After the talk, during the intermission, he took the guy outside, kicked his ass, & said "Were taking her back w/ us, & if you come looking for her, I'll kill you. The guy never did come for his wife. Or say anything to the elders about the ass kicking he received.
• 

  avishai

  Well, yeah, but there were also several that were beaten by there active, dub, sometimes elder hubbies, & no one did anything about it. My dad was a little different though, one time after giving the public talk in another town, he saw a girl he had grown up w/ sitting in the hall next to here new hubby, beaten black & blue. After the talk, during the intermission, he took the guy outside, kicked his ass, & said "Were taking her back w/ us, & if you come looking for her, I'll kill you. The guy never did come for his wife. Or say anything to the elders about the ass kicking he received.
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  teenyuck

  avishai, you are correct....I think the point (at least to me) of Rayzor's post was that when a dub is married to an unbeliever, and there is abuse, it is almost a medal of honor. Until the bad spouse cheats...then the dub spouse gets out and can tell the world of the persecution they suffered.

  Watching my mother treat my father like a pariah until he became a dub was eye-opening....she disapproved of everything he did. Then he became a dub and ended up cheating on her. He claims it was because she became frigid...she claims he was a sex maniac.

  Before they were dubs they were into going to nude beaches and having all kinds of sex. I recall this as a child. She got into the JWs at the height of "any sex but missionary" is bad period. My dad did not like having his well go dry, so to speak.

  Sure my dad should not have cheated. However, my mother did become a cold fish. Then she blamed him for their marriage deteriorating. It was a two edged sword. I blame them both...however, the WTBTS had something to do with it.

  After her divorce she could proudly proclaim she was "spiritually free" to any single brother looking for a mate.

  My mother still speaks about the "abuse" my father heaped upon her...to anyone who will listen. It is like a badge of honor for her.
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  mouthy

  Ray thanks for your vote of approval on my testimony- Yes I was silly to put up with the abuse from Frank- But I was told when I first started studing that If we loved Jehovah we would be persecuted..... I deemed that was the persecution I MUST receive,,,,, O.K I am a bit wiser now----Love you son!!!!