A smile for today The female skier Picabo Street (pronounced Peek-a-Boo) The famous Olympic skier Picabo Street is not just an athlete but is a nurse. She currently works at the Interstate Care Unit of a large metropolitan hospital. She is not permitted to answer the telephone however, as it caused simply to much confusion when she would answer the phone and say: Picabo, ICU A good clean joke is hard to find these days--- Katie
A clean joke
by bikerchic 9 Replies latest social humour
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Elsewhere
A white horse fell in the mudd.
Sorry... just had to spoil your clean joke with a dirty joke.
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Joyzabel
<groan> I thought you had started your spring cleaning, bikerchic!!
but it was a cute joke. ha ha
j2bf
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rocketman
A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks: "why the long face?"
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Elsewhere
"why the long face?"
Booooo! Sssssssss!
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sandy
LOL, I must say I LOVE CORNY JOKES!
Anybody have any more?
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Outaservice
Did you hear about the 'lucky' fisherman?
His wife had 'worms'!
Outaservice
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Thunder Rider
Good one Bikerchic!
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SheilaM
BikerChicK:
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berylblue
Can't start a new topic, so I'm throwing these in here with the hope everyone will find them.
Real Questions Asked By Lawyers
Recently reported in the Massachusetts Bar Association Lawyers Journal, the following are questions actually asked of witnesses by attorneys during trials and, in certain cases, the responses given by insightful witnesses:
“Now, doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
“The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?”
“Were you alone or by yourself?”
“Were you present when your picture was taken?”
“Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?”
“Did he kill you?”
“How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?”
“You were there until the time you left, is that true?”
“How many times have you committed suicide?”
Q. “So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?”
A. “Yes.”
Q. “And what were you doing at that time?”Q. “She had three children, right?”
A. “Yes.”
Q. “How many were boys?”
A. “None.”
Q. “Were there any girls?”Q. “You say the stairs went down to the basement?”
A. “Yes.”
Q. “And these stairs, did they go up also?”Q. “Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn’t you?”
A. “I went to Europe, Sir.”
Q. “And you took your new wife?”Q. “How was your first marriage terminated?”
A. “By death.”
Q. “And by whose death was it terminated?”Q. “Can you describe the individual?”
A. “He was about medium height and had a beard.”
Q. “Was this a male, or a female?”Q. “Is your appearance here this morning due to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?”
A. “No, this is how I dress when I go to work.”Q. “Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?”
A. “All my autopsies are performed on dead people.”Q. “All your responses must be oral, okay? What school did you go to?”
A. “Oral.”Q. “Do you recall the time that you examined the body?”
A.“The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.”
Q. “And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?”
A. “No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.”Q. “Are you qualified to give a urine sample?”
A. “I have been since early childhood.”Q. “Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?”
A. “No.”
Q. “Did you check for blood pressure?”
A. “No.”
Q. “Did you check for breathing?”
A. “No.”
Q. “So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?”
A. “No.”
Q. “How can you be so sure, Doctor?”
A. “Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.”
Q. “But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?”
A. “It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.”