It's called "Journey of Hope" and aimed at helping children and their parents cope with the loss of a family member or loved one. It was at a local Methodist church. Dinner is served at 6:30, provided by different church groups, and then at 7:00 we break off into our groups. The children are grouped by age, and the parents are grouped according to their loss, i.e., if it was a spouse you go with one group and if it was a parent or other loved one you go with the other group.
We got there early because we had to meet with a counselor, who looked over the 14-page form I had to fill out. The children had one page each to describe how they were feeling. The counselor explained what would happen next, so we joined the group and had dinner. It was excellent: a men's group from another Methodist church had done dinner, and the guys made a huge salad, lots of lasagna and fresh bread, and very kindly remembered that children often don't like lasagna, so they also had Kraft macaroni & cheese and peanut butter sandwiches. Something for everyone!
After eating, the moderator mentioned that there were several new families and asked for anyone having a birthday in March to come up and we all sang "Happy Birthday" (that still feels weird). Then the new children were told to come up and pick a stuffed bear out of a large sack. That is their Journey Bear, which will go with them on their journey through grief. Well, that really broke the ice for my two, who adore bears. Jackson had been sitting very still and shaking a little, and he told me he was scared to be there. I told him I was too but we'd find something to like. The bears relaxed him and he was smiling and went willingly with his group. The children talked about the death of their loved ones and made a paper treasure box in which they put a piece of paper. On the paper they were to write what good things they would want to find at the end of a rainbow. Jackson also drew a picture of the things that Grandpa had given him. After they came out of their group they were positively bubbling with good feelings and excitedly told me about the new friends they'd made.
I met with two other women who had lost parents recently and we told our stories. Our counselor is an RN and a grief counselor at a local hospital, so she was able to let us talk and then offer comfort and practical suggestions.
I was amazed at the love that was in that group tonight. I don't mean the sloppy, let's-have-a-group-hug type of love, but just a genuine caring for one another and a sharing of common grief. The men's group obviously were sincerely happy to feed us, and I didn't detect any hidden agendas.
Is this what I've missed all these years?
Nina