by Abaddon 8 Replies latest jw friends
http://tv.yahoo.com/news/wwn/20030319/104808600007.html
Picked this up on Kent's old site... it's dated 19th March, so is a bit early for an April Fool.
In the rather unlikely circumstance of this guy telling the truth, he is so screwed as to beggar belief!
Andrew Carlssin is a pathological liar. You should have heard the things he used to tell me before I came here from 2253!
Oh come on!
Don't you find it a bit strange that Andrew Carlssin backwards is nisslraC werdnA?
Puhlease!
Expatbrit
Some questions spring to mind.
What would you do in Andrew's position? If you were indeed a time traveler then you wouldn't be able to give the names of accomplices. If you give away information, like the whereabouts of Osama, this would be a dead-givaway that you were telling the truth and NO WAY would the military let you go ever! So he's screwed either way.
Where did he get the $800 from, his own time? Would paper money last that long? And why didn't he just invest that money - in 250 years, in the right investment, it would still be worth a lot and he wouldn't have broken the law (or got caught).
Wouldn't it have been easier to find the winning lottery number than details of company shares?
Where's all his speculating mates from the future? Surely he's not the only one to get this idea for a get rich quick scheme?
What if he met his great-great-great granddad and accidently killed him - would he cease to exist because his family line was cut before he was born? And if he ceased to exist how could he come back and kill his great-great-great grandfather?
I'm sure there are other questions.
Errr, I hate to spoil the fun by pointing out the obvious, gang, but did anybody notice that this article was from the Weekly World News? That's the paper that regularly runs headlines like, "Satan Escapes From Hell," "Grandma was a Bigfoot," "President Clinton Meets With Aliens," and stuff like that.
The BEST thing we can say about this article is that it's halfway decent science fiction!
dmouse;
What would you do in Andrew's position?
Go to Golgotha with a video camera and really solve this Jesus thing for once and all. If I was preached to by a dead person, I would review my worldview. Maybe go back to Eden and really give Eve an idea about what "original sin" meant... or take that mad Aussie bloke;
"Oh look at that, what a little beauty! And the clever little bugger can talk, stone me!"
On the way back I'd buy some really cheap Microsoft stocks from '80 something, go forward to their peak, sell them, and stick the capital sum in a gilt fund or somesuch I knew would retain the value of the capitalised sum until my time. Chief reason it smells bad is if he was so damn clever he'd have known a two week super-trader splurge would make him an obvious target for accusations of insider trading.
If you were indeed a time traveler then you wouldn't be able to give the names of accomplices. If you give away information, like the whereabouts of Osama, this would be a dead-givaway that you were telling the truth and NO WAY would the military let you go ever! So he's screwed either way.
This has been the cause of much hilarity in the office. Imagine if he IS telling the truth! What fun! And he is SOOOO screwed, 'cause if he ponies up the time machine he can kiss the future goodbye, and if he doesn't, then he can't name his associates.
Where did he get the $800 from, his own time? Would paper money last that long? And why didn't he just invest that money - in 250 years, in the right investment, it would still be worth a lot and he wouldn't have broken the law (or got caught).
Ah, maybe he could only afford $800 of antique period currency from a bank note collecter?
Wouldn't it have been easier to find the winning lottery number than details of company shares?
Maybe he could make more oney with shares?
Where's all his speculating mates from the future? Surely he's not the only one to get this idea for a get rich quick scheme?
Well, he could be the Janitor at the UN Time Institute, who hijacked the craft that had been prepared for a last ditch attempt to avert the disasterous events in 2003. By his actions he has condemned the world to 200 years of religous war.
What if he met his great-great-great granddad and accidently killed him - would he cease to exist because his family line was cut before he was born? And if he ceased to exist how could he come back and kill his great-great-great grandfather?
Ah, time paradox. We don't know, do we? Time may allow multiple strands; if you went back in time you could kill your grandfather without disappearing as by killing him you would force the creation of another time possibility wheer you WERE born, and DID kill your grandfather, but that he was in a seperate reality to th one you came from.
I can't see this however, as I think it really, like really, screws up conservatiuon of energy. If I get up NOW, I create another Universe from nothing. It's that famous Scot, isn't it? Eehequals McSquared.
Given that, there are two possibilities. Or three. One that time travel is not possible, largely because it's silly and requires several new tenses (past, present, future, future past, past future etc; "I haveam gonegoing back in time to kill my grandfather", "I willhave change^d history by going forward in time", "You haven'thave done that yetnow havehaven't you"). This is the silly theory.
Two is that you can, but things that have happened in your start frame have happened even if by what you'vedonewilldo they won't have happened. This is the bye bye granddad theory. This gets into serious trouble if you kill your grandfather just as he was about to &uck grandma and make your dad, and you jump in bed instead, as the insertion of your gamates into your own genetic profile would mean that you might not havewill dodone it, as you arewouldbe a different person.
The third one is the correct one. I willhaven't findfound it out soonyet.
I know Weekly World News, but it was reported on other newsfeeds; whether they were lazy and didn't check their sources and its a fabrication, I don't know, it's more fun than anything...
Yup... a brand new urban legend
http://www.snopes.com/humor/iftrue/insider.htm Claim: Man arrested for insider trading attributes his financial success to time travel.
Status: False.
Example: [Collected on the Internet, 2003]
'TIME-TRAVELER' BUSTED FOR INSIDER TRADING |
If he is a time traveler, he certainly is selfish. Anyone traveling in time would certainly have a "mission" other than becoming filthy rich. As everyone already knows, in the future, money will be worthless.
Well that story from the Weekly World News just can't compare with the one I saw that said:
JESUS' SANDALS FOUND!!!
And if you cut them out and put them on your feet, all your ills will be cured!!
