Saying one thing...meaning the other

by Thirdson 5 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Thirdson

  There is a great tendency among the supposed mature JW’s to look down on others. My mother was/is one of those types and was a master of saying one thing while meaning the exact opposite. The wise knew what she meant.

  For instance, we had the CO stay with us on one occasion which gave my mother plenty of time to pretend we were much better JW’s than we really were. Of course, during a visit many in the congregation pretend to be better than they really are. It irked my mother that those who normally would never comment during a meeting made plenty of comments when the CO was in town. Her comment to him was, “the CO’s visit is so wonderful because it encourages so many to comment in the meetings especially those who are normally very quiet.”

  She was similarly dismissive of those whose only meeting attendance was the annual memorial. “How lovely to see so many make a special effort to attend the memorial.” We all knew she meant the very opposite.

  Other comments about some of my friends were less subtle especially comments about friends who were be too ill to attend the Thursday meeting but always seemed to make an full recovery to go out Friday nights.

  She always liked to comment in Watchtower Studies about family life and child rearing. She had the model family and made big boasts about her “faithful” children who were pioneers/elders/MS/baptized/whatever. I once overheard her tell another person how she never had to worry about her sons as they were all raised in the “truth” to be strong JW’s. What she meant was that she didn’t think much of my sister’s husband or that he was much of a mature JW. How unfortunate for her that most of the kids (daughter and 3 sons) no longer believe in the Watchtower Society. I don’t know what she says now. I am sure she makes some excuse about Satan/materialism/”the world” when explaining the lack of 2nd and 3rd generation JW’s from her family. Certainly if it could happen to us it could happen to everyone. I hope so!

  Thirdson

  'To avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing'
• 

  mommy

  Thirdson,
  I thought I had the only Mom that did that It was easy as a child to pick up on this subtle form of speach. I think it has benefited me as an adult to be able to read into others comments. Of course it also helped me develop the famous "tuning out" I was and am able to listen to a conversation and not really listen. Of course I am able to insert the neccesary "Oh" and "Uh huh" and I have even been known to reply with more than one word comments
  Back to your last comment,"Certainly if it can happen to us it can happen to anyone" I hope so too. I know in the area I grew up in more and more young ones are leaving. I know everyone leaves for their own reasons, but there are many that are not returning, and to me this is a small victory. How can the org survive so many leaving and little coming in?
  wendy(of the my mom was old school class)
• 

  Gopher

  Thirdson,

  And here I thought this problem of "double-speak" happened only here in Minnesota. In our culture it's called "Minnesota Nice", i.e., say nice things about a person to their face and sneer at them behind their back.

  JW's are no better than the world in regard to this form of hypocrisy. The "loving expressions" shown by those such as your mother are really a veneer for the judgmentalism that is endemic among them. Such expressions are part of the "show", and it's probably going on behind our back quite regularly, as you stated. But if we came back their expressions might be wonderful like the prodigal son's father, but their attitude may be closer to that of the prodigal son's brother.

  Gopher
• 

  thinkers wife

  Are all Mom's who are JW's related? My Mom is the Queen of Denial!
  
  TW
• 

  GinnyTosken

  Thinker's Wife,

  Is your mom's name by any chance Cleopatra, Queen of Denial? ;)

  Ginny
• 

  slipnslidemaster

  I think it has benefited me as an adult to be able to read into others comments.

  Oh my GOD!! Yes, I have an uncanny ability to read into other comments and it is exactly from the whole double meaning, double think thing. I swear that the Witnesses taught me how to lie perfectly, lead a double life perfectly and completly cut people out of my life perfectly. Therapy, here I come!!

  And my mother is STILL in denial about me ruining her "perfect" family. Tough to act superior to the others in the congregation when your son is an Ex.

  . o O (slipnslidemaster)