Just me?

by stuffwotifink 5 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  Simon

  I'm deeply ashamed to admit that if anyone, anyone, in my family had done what I did and begun to "Apostatise"... I'd have shunned them into an almost literal non-existence.

  Is it just me that was a douche? (I'm improving, slowly.)

  Nope, many of us are in the same boat - I've been a shunner as well as a shunnee. I've shunned a parent and been shunned by a parent. I know both sides of the deal.

  Look at it this way - we were all in ... until we weren't. That's all there is to it.

  Look on the positive side: did you bring someone else into the 'truth'? If not, then be happy at that.

  If you did bring someone in ... well, at least it wasn't 2. If you brought 2 in then at least it wasn't 3 ... and so on.

  We can all regret the past but it's pointless - you're allowed to forgive yourself. If you feel bad then you can't be such a bad person.
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  stuffwotifink

  I wasn't beating myself up, I think a bit of shame is healthy, it was bloody shameful.
  But I understand your point, "If you brought 2 in then at least it wasn't 3 ... and so on", we did what we did and it's done. [to construct as redundant a sentence as I possibly can.]
  
  

  I've shunned a parent and been shunned by a parent. I know both sides of the deal.
  

  Damn, that is a rollercoaster and no messin'. It is a wonder, the positions this cult leaves people in.
  
  
  
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  LisaRose

  You are completely normal, most of us had to find the truth on our own, if anyone had tried to convince me of any of tatt, it would have just made me determined not to listen.

  It's partially that the Watchtower conditioned us to fear apostates and partially simple human nature.

  Studies have shown that the more people have invested in a choice, the less likely they are to listen to anything negative about it. It's seems we tend to reject anything that would make us think we made a mistake. We decide it must be a lie, or nitpick it, or find fault with their person sharing the information (bitter apostates!) That changes if we start becoming unhappy with the choice and start looking for answers on our own.

  That's why it's usually futile to try and get someone to believe negative information about the Watchtower. If you tell them the Watchtower has a problem pedophiles, this creates a state of cognitive dissonance, because to believe the Watchtower knowingly did wrong means they picked the wrong religion. The idea they might have picked wrong religion is painful, so they dismiss the negative information as being unreliable.
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  stuffwotifink

  if anyone had tried to convince me of any of tatty, it would have just made me determined not to listen
  

  MmmHmm, that was me. I honestly can't think of a soul I'd have allowed to "stumble" me. Glad though I am that I stumbled.
  
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  stuffwotifink

  On a side note: I'm a doxastic non-voluntarist.
  But dubs certainly do seem to choose their beliefs, I may need to consider my position.
  
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  TheListener

  I shunned a close relative and best friend for years. I was a jackass. I've since reconnected and apologized a lot. They have acted more christian than the dubs I still know and forgave me. We've moved past it and our relationships are great.