Yesterday my two youngest were walking into the grocery store,,,,,,,Piggly Wiggly, hehe, and just as we crossed the street, the elder we have known since my hubby and I were teens, he is our age, drove by with his wife. She was completly turned away, and he was so close , five feet maybe, I could see his face well. Well something just hit me, to wave at him,,,,,,,,,,I figured he would drive on as usual. But he didnt,,,,,,,,,,,,he had both hands on the wheel, but smiled a big smile for along time as he passed us by.
I felt my anger towards him go down just a bit , because for so long I have been so mad that they could just think the worst of us , that they could look so down on us and not even smile.
Well he smiled, and he didnt have too. I know that is not the same as speaking, or waving, but it was alot of him. He is the kind of brother , bethelite who never once got into any trouble , not as a teen or young adult . He always tried to do things exactly by the book.
I wonder if his conscience bothers him for smiling at us? That is a damn shame that he might would stop to ask how we are, but is bond by the laws of the WT to not do so. I can tell alot by a look on a persons face and I was close enough to see that the smile he gave us , was genuine. I think it is sad there are so many in the JW who feel they have to do the shunning but hate every minute of it. I know I was that way. I even spoke to many d/f or d/a persons even as a JW.
Well, my son,,,,,,,,,,,,,8 yrs old , said,,,,,,,,, I dont understand Mama, why they can't talk to us, ,,so, Is not being a JW a crime or something??? of course he was being sarcasstic. But I said to him, yeah for them ,,the JW's, it is a crime, isnt that sad Chance? He said it is Mama.
This brother who showed some kind of acknowlegement of our exsistance that day, was a very close friend. My husband and him were close, he was the best man in his wedding. He lived at our house and we always did things together. He was always at the hospital when our youngest was going thru so much, he was almost like a real brother , and lived and still lives around the corner from our old house.
I am sure we will be seeing more and more of him , when we move back. I know he will never stop being a JW, he has so much invested in it and is a total believer.
But for just a moment, I didnt feel so angry at him anymore , just because of a geninue smile.
Maybe I am just getting over some of the anger myself, realizing that even thou they stick to the laws of the WT , in their hearts maybe some of them , are good deep down, even ones you wouldnt think of ever showing it.