i wrote the following in my therapy sessions to treat my sexual abuse as an adult
I thought that you should know that I recently discovered the reason I am weird and at times react strange there is a part of me that will never go away ...
No matter how hard I try to control or hide it everyday It will always show it will always stay .
I
thought that you should know this indescribable grueling act of what you did ., That inside my adult mind and body you locked up and left for ever a trapped kid...Do you know how hard it must be to accept that ? Do you even care ?Do you ever feel bad when you look in the mirror who do you see when you stare? I thought that you should know how While you where at home while raising your family and grand kids. I was homeless on the street left with no family to care for me. I have lived and tasted in its truest sense what all Alone is to be.With no one standing beside me. I was Cold and Hungry, sleeping in cars .friends closets .there where days I went days without food to eat. Such a young life raised by the streets.
I thought that u should know I was forced to get a job at 16 to survive .I worked at a restaurant because of hunger and the need to stay alive . I threw food in large trash bag walked it to the dumpster and threw it in. I would return after business hours to collect "the groceries" waiting for my dinner to begin. .I thought that u should know How at one point I hated the Bible so much for instructing me to be honest and say the truth.....I thought to myself Perhaps then if I didn't open my mouth and confess I would of had at least had a taste of Youth .......