I need help investigating this issue

by won2blv 4 Replies latest jw experiences

  • won2blv
    won2blv

    Hello all! I would hope that most of you would agree that a major reward for Jehovah's Witnesses comes from positive experiences. And who could blame them since they have such a negative message with 99.9% rejection. Who remembers the fear you felt of being a "bad witness?" So I have two stories that I think prove how insane this religion is. I cant actually say with certainty that either of these things happened, but I'll share the facts which are true and the assumptions I made.

    The first is the belief that I was either drugged or had my drink spiked and then molested by a brother from the congregation. He is a registered sex offender, he was grooming me with gifts and surprise visits, and when we went fishing alone he was always trying to look cool. Like this one time when he was driving 89 miles an hour down a 55mph highway and he was telling me that he would go faster if he didn't have a governor. He had a governor probably because it was a condition of his probation. He lost 3 of his fingers in a car accident where he was recklessly driving, so he obviously has impulse problems. So I cant say for certain that it happened, but it would explain a confusion I started feeling around that time of age. I became addicted to being alone and looking at porn for hours. I also was playing so many mind games with people.

    The second story happened in 2017. I had come out as an atheist to my wife in the Fall of 2016. I didn't go to the elders but I did quit going to meetings. Then my wife got pregnant and my whole perspective changed about life. I prayed to God and a week later I felt an answer to the prayer and I believed again, just not in the old man in the sky God. Which is what JW's worship because they're still operating off the fact that Adam and Eve sinned against God in Paradise and thats why were fucked. When in reality, Adam and Eve were ape like creatures who were "white trash" and "God" was another ape like figure they revered. And to this day, the white trash still believe they're in the right. Thats what I'm saying about the dubs. They're white trash. They don't realize how meaningless they truly are, but they continue to hold an ego that they are especially created and better than their environment.

    I go on that rant because I think that my return and testimony of turning back to God after becoming an Atheist was a gold mine for them. JWs HATE Atheism because its their inner truth. Because they are nothing, and they will become nothing. I'm pretty sure that people started talking about what my true intentions were. My wife told me people were talking to me but she wouldn't name anyone and a couple elders said the same thing but wouldn't name anyone. It started feeling like they were playing mind games. Like Jedi mind tricks where they lead your thought along a path because they want to see how you'll respond to it.

    Its really important for me to get to the bottom of this because it would be an excellent illustration of idolism. Its not just the JW's. All the big corporations keep hiding behind legal jargon that protects them from liability. So I'm sick of hearing people say that it was weed that caused me to have a mental breakdown. I believe it was the trauma from a child mixed in with the indoctrination, and then capped off by them scheming behind my back because they were concerned about me being seen giving an interview that I didn't want to give anyway.

  • Simon
    Simon

    Maybe you should consider getting some counselling.

    I don't think anyone here can help you with any of these things.

  • NonCoinCollector
    NonCoinCollector

    I don't think any of us are professional counselors and even if one of us were, this is not the proper setting to discuss personal mental health.

  • AnotherJohn
    AnotherJohn

    Agree with the others. You have problems. JWs don’t have useful counseling. You need a professional.

    Weed is bad for some people. Just like alcohol is bad for some. Stop that if nothing else.

    You are an Atheist. What are you doing in any church? Not being you, will cause imbalance. Stop that too. Don’t try to please others, find something else enjoy.

    Unless you believe, church can’t fix you.

  • blondie
    blondie

    I didn't worry, in the end god would judge me, not the elders despite the work around explanation the WTS has. The WTS says only god can read hearts and minds, and by permission from god, Jesus can. The elders can't say "we are imperfect, we make mistakes." Why put imperfect men in charge of judging people as being a "good witness" if their decisions could be wrong and lead to someone being cutoff from all jws, including family. I would say, "I'll take my chances with god (I was still a believer), he has the authority of deciding who lives or dies. It's not like he asks your opinion of who should live or die. I would be careful, if you knowingly DF someone who should not be per god, you would be bloodguiilty and find yourself not crossing over into paradise on earth." I could see the pursed lips that I a woman dared to say this to them. But as I said, their judgement was outvoted by god.

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