Anyway I am glad I am loving my life....

by The Rebel 2 Replies latest jw friends

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  The Rebel

  I realize now my father I believe had " aspergers" " ( although not diagnosed)

  Our parents are who they are, and I do not hate my mum & dad for being who they are, on the contary I appreciate how they love me in their own way. But growing up with strict witness parents and a father who I now believe has " asperges"" wasn't easy,

  Anyway I am glad I am now loving my life, but the point I want to make is I love my wife and I love my son of 11, and I realize we each as individuals, have so many imperfections. Today I have realized my dad had many problems that " faked" my life up, but he is my dad and I am sure he is a nice guy,

  The really important point I am trying to make is, that the relationship between parents and children can have great love and horrible pain, but I won't let my parents down and say I don't love them. It has just taken a lot of time for me to realize a dad may have problems with love that I never understood.

  On a positive I have put my " Witness" upbringing behind me, I understand my parents inability to show love and I always tell my boy and wife I love them before we go to bed, and my boy still kisses me goodnight and says he loves me before he goes to sleep.

  The Rebel.

  
  
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  flipper

  REBEL- Good job. You are a great dad. I've always felt like you do that it's important to tell our wives and children that we love them before going to bed each night and to never take it for granted. I had a strict JW father who is now almost 91 years old who NEVER , and I mean NEVER told me that he loved me. Not once. My mom is total opposite, always told me she loved me so she made up for it.

  But my dad came from a broken home he experienced with his own dad leaving when he was 13 years old - so who knows what issues he was dealing with ? so you are right- we as adults try to take that stuff into consideration when moving on in life. But I promised myself that my relationship with my own son would be much tighter and closer than me and my dad's. And it is ! My son is one of my best friends and we are very close. And we tell each other we love each other too. A big difference in what I experienced with my own dad. I think many of us try to make up for what we didn't have in relationships as we grow older. Keep on keeping on buddy- you are doing great ! I'm happy for you and your little family
  
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  under the radar

  Both you guys are great dads! My parents did tell my brother and I that they loved us on occasion, but they showed it every day. I'm ashamed to say I went through a period in my 20's when it was hard for me say it back to them, though I certainly did l love them. It was just hard to verbalize, now that I was "grown up." I got over that inhibition pretty quickly, though, and they both knew I loved them unconditionally even though I had become completely inactive in the Truth™ long before they passed away.

  My adult son and I are very close. We speak and/or text almost every day, and frequently say "I love you." And my Extremely Significant Other and I have a house "rule": neither ever leaves the house, even for just a short errand, with a hug and a kiss and an "I love you." Anything can happen to anyone at any time, and it just seems like a good way to carry that love and affection along with us when we have to be apart.