What you cannot say about JW parents

by Anony Mous 4 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Anony Mous

  I’m guiding a young person through some difficulties. At least some of the family including a parent and grandparents are/were JW. So there are some insecurities, without going into detail, young people are often worried that they may be ejected from the home after reaching a certain age if they offend their parents (totally normal feeling).

  What I wanted to say is: a loving parent wouldn’t reject you because you did x, if anything they are expecting it, it is totally normal for you to do this. And this isn’t a religious issue, obviously there is a background of and has been influenced by but not an uncommon issue even for “worldly” people.

  And then I had to delete that response because even if they aren’t completely active but they want to stay in the good graces of either family or congregation, then no, that does not apply, especially if they find out it is related to people like me that are critical of the JW.

  And that is almost exclusive to the JW cult. And it makes me sad that this person also realized it despite rarely having been to a meeting, even parental love is completely conditional. And it makes me angry that so too I was raised and few people understand that feeling of rejection from the people that are supposed to be there for you.
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  joey jojo

  'Worldly' parents will often go to hell and back for their kids. JW parents have been brainwashed into believing that any mistakes their kids make is all on the kids and shift the blame for their genetics or bad parenting to them. Instead of responsible parents helping them through adolescence, they are ostracised.

  Its cruel and it's unjust.
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  joe134cd

  I have often wondered. If the age and reasons for leaving the JWs, determines how well that person adjust to secular society.
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  Beth Sarim

  Being raised a JW is abuse in itself.
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  Anony Mous

  @joe134cd: I think the older you get, the more bitter you are at all the wasted opportunities and at all the lives you damaged. When you are young you still get a chance at life. The earlier you get out the better, sadly not a choice that is easy to make. I've tried twice to leave 'everything' behind, and I did leave, but you cannot outrun your past.

  I've seen many young adults and children end their life or killed, homeless or jailed because the result of JW policy leading to despair and substance abuse. I can't even count the number anymore, but I can tell you it is dozens that I am personally aware of.

  I was a third generation JW, I remained "in" for a bit too long to be blameless, but I have high hopes it ends with me. If you are reading this and you are not sure whether to stay or go - leave now before you regret it - you can live without parents, you can live without family, without congregation.

  If you are still active, do you really want to push people into this direction? When I was 14 I was so happy I had a 'study' with another youngster, child of a mom who wanted to be baptized. The JW pulled that family apart, the dad was not the greatest person, but despite that, they were a family. My family studied with the mom, I with the kid, she kicked his dad out for not continuing to get baptized, I pushed the kid to have his mom destroy his Metallica, AC/DC and Death Metal collection (it had skulls and pentagrams), the kid committed suicide soon after. Do you believe children of suicide would get resurrected? I was going to make it through Armageddon, because I had a study, I did my best, people that commit suicide are not worthy of our grief. His name was Thomas, we called him Thomas the Unbeliever afterwards (translation of Thomas the Doubter from my native language). I went on the stage at the assembly and told everyone about the success I had with my study, getting him to destroy his collection of Satanic music. That is who we are as JW. Despicable.
  

  The world (in every sense of the word) is a wonderful place, people are good. You may think you are guilty when you leave other adults behind, but that is their choice, you will not be able to live with the guilt once you find your child is damaged, hurt or lost.