A Dead Heart

Robdar

Remove your dagger from my heart.
Can't you see I'm already dead?
No need to try to kill me more.
I've already suffocated.
Brummie

Ya know whats interesting about this, one small verse has a comlpete story, 2 characters, one loved, one betraying, one hurt one doing the hurting, and the emotional roller coaster of the one on the recieving end, the reader is drawn into the feelings of the hurt....all in 4 short lines.
Brummie ( a critique)
Ghost of Esmeralda

((((((((Robdar))))))))))))
heartbreaking, and eloquent.
Thank you...
Essie
Aztec

I know that feeling Rob...:( Very eloquently put. xoxoxo ~Aztec
Reborn2002

Interesting.
Short but powerful.
ESTEE

(((((Robdar)))))
My sense is...there is a lot of pain in this prose...
ESTEE
Robdar

Brummie
Thanks for your favorable critique. You know how I love your poetry so, I always look forward to hearing what you have to say about mine.
(((((((Ghost of Esmeralda, Aztec, Reborn and Estee)))))))
Thank you all for your kind remarks and for taking the time to respond.
Hugs,
Robyn
COMF

Remove your dagger from my heart.
Can't you see I'm ready?
No need to fake a killing here;
I've already loved you.
Robdar

Comf,
You make my pulse race, my heart dance and my head spin.....But, you already knew that.
Thanks for your post.
Robyn
COMF

Oh, Robyn...
kiss me. Kiss me now!