I grew up a JW. Finally stopped attending meetings at age 31.
In all that time, I never "progressed" beyond the ministry school, Wt reading and the microphone running stage.
It was not for lack of so-called encouragement. Without wanting to blow my own trumpet, I'm was a good public reader and speaker (mostly because of copying words and sentence structure from the likes of Charles Dickens in my talks). Every so often, an elder or senior MS would give me the cosy "your-a-real-asset-to-the-cong-why-don't-you-reach-out" chat. I never did.
Service time wasn't a problem. I hated service, but generally did +2 or 3 hours on the cong. average.
No, the problem was that it all seemed so superficial. Artificial. A club of strutting Chanticleers, preening in public for their Pertalots (sp?).
It was pathetic, often, to see the antics and histrionics these men indulged in as they basked in the warmth of congregational acclaim. I watched them as them walked importantly on to the platform at conventions; back straight, chin up, chest puffed out, walk slowlyto the rostrum for maximum dignitorial effect.
What a contrast from the every day life of most of them in the real world, trapped in low paying, tedious, soul-crushing, menial positions. Worse, with no hope for advancement because of WT imposed limitations. No wonder they imbibed the heady draughts of prominence in the congregation with such gusto! The WT provides an environment for losers and gutless wimps to gain prominence. Part of it's attraction for many men, no doubt.
And oh! the hideousness of it! My own father, upon completion of his own blatant electioneering campaign, is now one of them! Where the son failed, the father has succeeded. "It makes me feel so humble" he boasts to us all. He used to be a quiet person, providing for his family with enormous conscientiousness, content to improve his own piece of the planet; live and let live. Now: a Chanticleer.
My wife (more intelligent and gifted than 99% of these "shepherds") has a nickname for them: platform-jockeys.
For the last couple of years, I refused to attend the special meetings with the CO for brothers who wished to reach out. The false humility emitted in flatulent clouds of pompous hot air by these "servants", and the fawning and creeping of the hopefuls made me sick to the stomach. After this the looks began: he's not one of us. What's wrong with him? How can he not want to be appointed? Must be pride.
It was never my desire. The huge responsibility scared me. Teaching in error leads to heavier judgement. Judging others wrongly leads to pain and grief. How can anyone have the knowledge and wisdom for a position such as that. Certainly not me!
So, to those of you who used to be elders and MS's: thank you for having the strength of character to reject the prominence and adulation in favour of your principles. The more I associate with ex-JW's, the more my appreciation of the fundamental decency of humanity is restored, after it's long withering in the WT's hate-filled winter.
Expatbrit