I was reading the thread here: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/20/51101/1.ashx and was reminded of the months prior to my much planned disassociation. This was over fifteen years ago. I was nineteen. I was just about to tell my mom what I was going to do when she decided to take us on a trip to Hawaii with other witness friends and family. I decided that in the grand scheme of things, it would be better to wait until after she had her trip than for her to have to explain the change in plans and why I wouldn't be going. The trip was torture for me. While the thought of basking in the Hawaiian sun would normally thrilled me, the fact that it was holding me up on my plans made it an annoyance. Before we left for Hawaii, I would say "This is the last time in service" , "This is my last time at this house for a book study" "This is my last meeting at this Kingdom Hall". While we were in Hawaii, we went to the Sunday meeting and all I could think of the whole time was "Last opening song, last opening prayer, last monotone talk, last middle song, last Watchtower study, last closing song, last JW prayer....Ever". I tried to leave my songbook and Watchtower behind but some little girl came running after me to return them to me (Witnesses are such good people). Once we got home and the next meeting was upon us, I didn't start hustling to get ready. My mom didn't notice until it was time to leave and she asked me if I would drive. I told her I wasn't going, and returned to the newspaper I was reading. When she asked why, I said I didn't want to and that I was never going to go to another meeting again. Later that night I told her I wanted to disassociate myself. She took it very calmly. But then I let several months pass while doing nothing. I had thought it through and decided that I would get around to it when I got around to it. I had better thinkgs to do than write a stupid letter. Enter my mother's whining. Apparently she was no longer Sister Popular since I was not going, and the rumors were flying. She couldn't stand the rejection and speculation. She complained to my father (long-suffering unbelieving mate) that I "had promised to write a letter and hadn't," and now her "life was a mess because" I "had gone back on my word to disassociate". My father had the sense to laugh at her and remind her that 20 years earlier she herself had picked the religion, and she couldn't expect anyone who hadn't had the same choice to follow their rules. Then he told me to stop torturing my mother, write the letter and let all their gossipy energy turn into sympathy and condolences. So I did. My only regret is that I did not gather up all my friends, my Dad and my non-witness family to attend to announcement of my disassociation, leaving flyers on all the cars in the parking lot announcing a "reception immediately following". That for sure would have ruined my mother's reign of martyrdom. Just reminiscing about the days of early adulthood. Shoshana
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by La Capra 3 Replies latest social relationships
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SixofNine
LOL, I enjoyed that, as I have every post of yours I've seen, now that I think about it. I'm more than a tad jealous at how clear thinking you were at 19. I didn't grow a brain till the stage of life that you're at now. Can you imagine?
I would say "This is the last time in service" , "This is my last time at this house for a book study" "This is my last meeting at this Kingdom Hall"......all I could think of the whole time was "Last opening song, last opening prayer, last monotone talk, last middle song, last Watchtower study, last closing song, last JW prayer....Ever".
Oh man, that had to be a delicious feeling. My own tergiversation came fast and furious, so I had no chance to enjoy the thought of my last meeting, service, etc.
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La Capra
Thanks 6. I was pretty lucky to have a Dad that would not support my mother in her desire to have her three children grow up to be elders or eldresses. I also inherited a strong mind from my mother (which she checked at the door when she decided to put her uterus to work). The piece-de-resistance was my older brother who had exited before he entered by working on meeting nights and claiming to go to the "morning" meetings on Sundays, instead hanging out in the local hillside cemetary. When I told him I wasn't going anymore either, he immedieately sent me a copy of Crisis of Conscience (this was in 1987), and I read it before I dissasociated. Ray Franz sure made it clear and simple. I can't take credit for being clear thinking. I had some good friends on the outside (thanks to my Dad insisting I have whatever friends I please) and a close relative who had been through what I had. Now a genuine clear thinker would know how to achieve paragraphs, links and quote boxes in her posts. And she graduate from Hello Kitty to something more intelligent. Shoshana
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JamesThomas
Hey Shoshana,
Got a good laugh from your story. Thx.
JamesT