It took me 20 years to work it out, but I think that I have got the hang of it now.
I'll say what I think the difference is a little later. Meanwhile, I'd be interested in what others think.
Englishman.
So Do You Know The Difference Between Guilt And Constructive Remorse Then?
by Englishman 8 Replies latest jw friends
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JamesThomas
I would say "Guilt" is a negative aspect. When you carry with you an action or inaction of the past, and it eats at you. You remain stuck. It breeds anger, fear and bitterness. "Constructive Remorse" on the other hand is positive. The action or inaction of the past is used as a teacher and reminder to do better. You move forward. It breeds compassion, humility and wisdom. JamesT
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proplog2
Guilt: "How could I do such a terrible thing. I am bad. I should be severely punished."
Repentance: "How can I avoid doing this bad thing again? Step 1, Step2...Day1...Day2..."
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Englishman
Thank you, Gents, that's pretty well what I think too.
I used to really go down guilt road. Then I would feel worthless for feeling guilty and berate myself even more. That then became a multiplication factor, so that I would do almost anything - or nothing even - so as to avoid guilt.
Later I learnt that Useful Remorse is a learning process, that, though uncomfortable, only causes discomfort until the fault is rectified. In that way the remorse serves a useful purpose and is totally temporary whilst an adjustment (God, I hate that word!) is made.
Englishman.
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Valis
I think guilt has several facets...there is the guilt for doing something wrong based on your own version of right and wrong and then there is JW guilt which is the manifestation of a control mechanism, which we are all aware of.
Constructive remorse IMO is just another word for hindsight,...as in..."I knew I shouldn't have played rugby w/no clothes on..."
Sincerely,
District Overbeer
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shamus
Guilt = never being good enough to be a good JW, no matter how hard you try.... you are still pond scum.
Remorse = changing behaviors to better yourself... i.e. not drinking so much, not swearing so much, yada yada yada.
The problem is that JW's just go overboard on the guilt... pretend that we are not going to burn in a "hell-fire", but tell us that we are never doing good enough and are going to die unless we do better... but we can't.
Thanks, WTBTS, for all the years of mental abuse. Right now, I am REMORSEFUL for allowing their mind-control over me, and have taken active steps to ensure that it never happens again.
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AGuest
Guilt - What is put upon you... in many cases by yourself... but in most cases by others... to convince you of and validate in your mind and heart... your lack of worth... to yourself or to such others... but foremost to God... at any given time... for any given reason.
Constructive Remorse/Repentance (and note, this is for those who truly recognize the need for and benefit of such, as some choose to have NO concept of ANY "wrong" whatsoever) -
Recognizing the "error" of what you've done, and:
1. Trying not to do it again... if you can... and/or
2. Asking for... and accepting when offered/given... forgiveness from others... including God... Christ... the one you offended... others... and/or yourself... for that time as well as subsequent times when you fail.
Matthew 18:21, 22; Luke 7:41-43; 10:27
And you will fail. In something. Because no one of US... can keep the Law "perfectly". For whether we admit it or not... to God... Christ... others... and/or ourselves... ALL of us have SOMETHING "in" us... in our hearts and thus in our flesh... some drive or some need... which prevents us from the keeping the Law... entirely. And God... KNOWS this... for there is nothing hidden from Him... so that in HIS love and mercy, He sent a ransom. Praise JAH... there is a ransom!
I bid you peace, dear EMan...
A slave of Christ,
SJ
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tdogg
The difference is that if you feel guilty, it's because you know that if faced with the same situation you would do things exactly the same. If it is constructive remorse, then you believe you have at least learned a lesson not to be repeated.
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Farkel
: So Do You Know The Difference Between Guilt And Constructive Remorse Then?
Piece of cake! Guilt is destructive. Guilt is ALWAYS destructive. Remorse is positive and healing.
Guilt hurts the person feeling it. Remorse also hurts, but is a much more positive and less judgemental way of dealing with stuff.
Oh, nevermind! I don't know much, but I can tell the difference between a Taco in San Diego and a Taco in Kansas City! That's about all I know.
Epilogue: I just took the time to read the comments on this thread. Dang! People already said what I said. Delete this post, therefore. Don't delete the part about the Tacos, though. That is important stuff.
Farkel