My family and I have a pretty good relationship despite the fact that I faded away about 7 years ago. The question is due I have the obligation to try to save them from themselves and by doing so risk not only our relationship but perhaps pushing them further into the "truth"? I know that many people are of the school of thought that you just have to let them find out for themselves, but I can see that my parents are hardheaded or blind and I think they deserve at least few years of freedom before they pass on. It would be terribly sad to realize on your death bed that you gave your whole life to a fraudulent organization?
Status quo or risk it all?
by Azalo 8 Replies latest jw friends
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JamesThomas
Have your parents shown any signs that they would be open to questioning the "truth"? If not, I certainly wouldn't attempt exposing anything. Chances are a 100 to 1 they wouldn't listen anyway. If they are fairly old and seemingly happy and secure in there beliefs, I would probably just leave them be. Less painful for them that way. Plus why risk jeopardizing a "pretty good relationship"? When I reread your post I got the feeling you already know what to do, or not do. my 2 cents JamesT
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Aztec
This may sound a bit tender hearted but, I would let them believe what they will. My grandfather went to his deathbed wholeheartedly believing he knew the "truth". He died peacefully. I would really like to enlighten my parents but they are pretty happy so why rock the boat? They treat me well and are very loving to my son. I would only encourage them to leave if they were unhappy. As they seem fine, I will let them be if they do the same for me. :) ~Aztec
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JamesThomas
That's what I was trying to say Carrie, but you said it much, much better.
JamesT
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Aztec
Oh James! You always say things much better than I! :) ~Azzy
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Stephanus
Status Quo Rock Like ****!
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Shutterbug
We, wife and I, are taking a, you leave us alone and we will leave you alone. On the other hand, if the shunning and other stupid acts come from the active dubs, then all bets are off. But, barring that, I see no reason to destroy the faith of anyone. Bug
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Introspection
You may not like this answer, but my response is there is no black and white answer. I would point out that looking for such an answer is only an indication of black and white thinking, and that never works well, I'm sure everyone can atleast see how things won't go over very smoothly with that approach.
As unhelpful as that may seem, I think it helps to explicitly state one other fact, and that is for the most part people do not want the truth about reality. Even outside the JWs people are deluding themselves in countless ways, and leaving the JWs does not automatically mean coming to the truth, or even having a better life, however you choose to define that. Just look at all the posts along the lines of "what do I believe in now..???"
Even if you care more about their freedom than risking your relationship with them, it's pretty obvious that such a thing needs to be done skillfully and with a certain amount of tact. I say just assess the situation from time to time and see how open they are, the choice is yours. Just don't confuse your own anxiety about them or even your own belief that someone should be told or not with how ready they actually are, which has to be based on what you can actually observe.
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Number 6
This is a difficult one to call.
I am in an identical position wherein my mother and stepfather have a reasonably pleasant relationship with my family and I despite having faded nearly 13 years ago. We just agree to disagree. In the past few years however, I find it very difficult to keep silent now that I know the truth about 'the truth'.
My parents have a certain 'smugness' about them whenever they visit. It is as if they know they are right and are just waiting for me or my wife to trip up somehow on the road of life and come running back crying to the Kingdom Hall begging for forgiveness. They'll be waiting a hell of a long time though.
If push came to shove, then I am afraid I would push them away because I am not playing second fiddle to a religion which they have very clearly made the highest priority in their life; even over their own flesh and blood.
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